Friday, December 24, 2010

White Chick of the Week: Bailey Schiffel

With Christmas nearly upon us, it only seems fitting that WWCC's newest White Chick of the Week be something of a Christmas Baby. And while it's always an esteemed pleasure to introduce fabulous White Chicks to the WWCC readership, this week's entry means just a bit more given the context and timing of her entry.

Not only does she get to celebrate Christmas this week, she also gets to celebrate a recent birthday AND the amazing honor of joining some especially wonderful gals as WCOTW...truly a great time for her to be alive! So by all means, wish a Merry Christmas, a Happy Birthday and a joyous reign as White Chick of the Week to Bailey Schiffel.


Name: Bailey Schiffel

Age: 26 as of Dec. 21st

College/Major: I graduated from The University of Georgia with a degree in Studio Art…GO DAWGS!!! (Side note: I went to UGA with 18 hours of credit, and should’ve by all means graduated early. My freshman year I saw a t-shirt that said “Athens Georgia, the best 5 or 6 years of your life” which I found hilariously ridiculous since I planned to be done in 3.5 years. That being said, I graduated from UGA in 5 years, and now own said t-shirt…)

Current City: Wilmington, NC

Occupation: I am in property management and own my own jewelry design business.

Hometown: Wilmington, NC. Yes that makes me a townie…

One quick interesting fact about Bailey: One of my favorite things to do is to ambush pictures. I will go to almost any length to get into someone else’s perfectly posed picture, including, but not limited to crawling on the ground.


Chick-fil-A Combo Meal: #1 with Lemonade, although I’ve recently been testing out the chicken nugget combo with Lemonade. I’ve convinced myself that it’s somehow healthier for me than the chicken sandwich. It totally makes sense. I just followed the same train of thought that we all used to decide that Chick-fil-A isn’t really a fast food establishment. And let me just add, that I won a free lunch from Chick-fil-A a few weeks ago for being the 400th person to go through the drive through that day. It was one of the happiest moments of my life thus far.

Non-threatening Singer-Songwriter: Having grown up at the beach, I’m partial to singer/songwriter/surfer Jack Johnson.

Brand of Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans: I’m really into James Jeans right now. They’re surprisingly affordable as far as Expensive Blue Jeans go, and they’re super comfy!

Boutique Cupcake Flavor: This is a really hard question because I like anything with sugar, but if push came to shove, I’d go with the classic white cupcake with chocolate icing. (Side note: Our local cupcake boutique does a flavor of the day, and this past spring they had a bacon flavored cupcake. It sounded so disgusting and wrong that I was tempted to try it, but I chickened out. But seriously, who doesn’t love bacon?)

White Chick Flick: When Harry Met Sally. Harry’s speech at the end totally makes the movie, and I secretly dream that one day I will inspire someone to profess their love for me in the same way that Sally did. I just hope it doesn’t take as long as it took them to get there…yikes!

Favorite white chick adult beverage: Pinot Grigio or Firefly and water. Drinking Firefly can be a very dangerous game because it tastes exactly like sweet tea, but if you add water you are simultaneously re-hydrating so you don’t feel as awful the next day… Strategery.

Favorite White Chick Lit: Water For Elephants. This might be the best book ever written, and its status as White Chick Lit was totally validated when Robert Pattinson was cast to play the main character in the movie version. Everybody knows that white chicks love Robert Pattinson…

Item of Accoutrement/accessory: I don’t go anywhere without my oversized purse. I like to carry everything that I own with me at all times. That way I’m prepared for almost anything.


It's been a long week at work, tell us about your ideal white chick weekend. My ideal white chick weekend includes a few things. It would certainly include shopping for ridiculously expensive blue jeans and shoes with girlfriends in a great place like NYC or Charleston. (Interesting fact: I solidified one of the best friendships of my life while shoe shopping in Italy while studying abroad in the Summer of ’07.) Brunch is a must…obvi. After shopping, we would go to the spa for massages, manicures, and pedicures. For dinner we would go to a nice tapas or fondue restaurant. I dare you to find me a white chick who doesn’t like tapas or fondue. We would then go out and have classy white chick drinks together. And we would end each night with an impromptu late night dance party.

What are some the things you cherish most as a white chick? Farmer’s markets, Anthropologie, Target, Oversized Sunglasses ( I have a signature pair, that I just keep re-ordering whenever I wear them out), Skinny Jeans, Taylor Swift, Impromptu late night dance parties, Tailgating, My finger nail polish collection… I could go on, but I won’t.

If you could be the contestant on any reality show (think The Bachelor, Top Chef, Project Runway, The Amazing Race, etc.) which one would you choose and why? I wouldn’t want to be on a reality show that’s a competition. My dad beat the competitive spirit out of me as a child by never letting me win anything…not even Monopoly. He would do almost anything to beat me, including making up rules before I was able to read. He once put 8 hotels on one property, and bankrupted me within 10 minutes. And the one time that I was actually winning despite the “rules”, he “accidentally” flipped the board over so that we couldn’t keep playing. That’s a whole other story though. That being said, I would really love to have been on Rob & Big. I think that Rob, Big Black Boykin and I would’ve been three best friends. I would’ve been ok with Drama hanging out with us too.

Your wildest dreams come true and you have a chance to be a guest on Oprah, Ellen or Live with Regis&Kelly but only ONE: What did you do to become famous and which show would you want to appear on? I would go on Ellen to discuss my NY Times Bestselling book It’s Not Me; It’s You. A collection of short stories about failed relationships and dating mis-haps. (It’s a work in progress). After the show, we would have an impromptu dance party.

Tell us a something about you that is very un-white chick. I grew up in Compton. That’s probably the most un-white chick place to grow up in America. Well, actually I grew up in a neighborhood called Compton Crossing, but I consider that to be a minor detail that makes my upbringing a whole lot less interesting. Also, I own a torch, and have a studio full of power tools, an assortment of hammers and mallets, pliers, and various other extremely un-white chick equipment.

Nominate yourself or a fabulous white chick friend to be WCOTW by emailing me at

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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Ugly Christmas Sweater Parties

If nothing else, the Christmas Season for White Chicks is all about celebrating tradition.

There's the chance to revel in the splendor of spending quality time (but not too much) with one's family. The opportunity for unheard of sales and deals beginning on Black Friday and running well into the New Year. There's the chance to bust out the N'Sync Christmas album (most white chicks LOVE this album, though I tend to prefer the "Charlie Brown Christmas Album").

There's the office Christmas party, where that one person in accounting or that creep in IT will get way too over-served and make a complete ass of themselves around co-workers and/or make improper sexual advances towards another co-worker.

There's the annual viewings of pure Christmas Classics like the old-school animated "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (big ups to Yukon Cornelius!) and other gems like "Home Alone," the perfect "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" and TBS's best programming decision EVER in showing "A Christmas Story" (undoubtedly one of my favorite movies of all time) for an entire 24 hour period starting on Christmas Eve.

But all of these Holiday traditions pale in comparison to the true favorite White Chick Christmas Tradition. The one tradition that sends White Chicks in droves to thrift stores all over their respective cities, or has them rifling through their grandmother's closet over Thanksgiving break, to find that one piece of Holiday accoutrement that will be the true envy of every other white chick at the themed-party they'll attend during the Holiday season. And that's because White Chicks Cherish Ugly Christmas Sweater Parties.

Watch out, Halloween, because Christmas is gaining ground on you in terms of a treasured national White Chick Holiday that provides a free-pass to dress tacky. And although Halloween is really all about White Chicks dressing like total sluts, Christmas is proving to be not entirely all about Peace on Earth and Goodwill Toward Men...just ask any White Chick in a "Slutty Mrs. Clause" get up that's heading out with a huge group of friends for a "Santa Pub Crawl."

But it's really all about the Ugly Christmas Sweater for White Chicks. The average white chick will attend at least 1 (one) such party per Holiday season, and though there is no certifiable proof of this claim, I think it's a safe bet that a White Chick came up with idea to throw the first Ugly Christmas Sweater party ever.

There are a few guidelines for White Chicks in picking out the perfect Ugly Christmas Sweater:
  • Simply put, the right Ugly Christmas Sweater MUST be something fantastically hideous that, on any other day of the year, it would be something a self-respecting White Chick would never, EVER wear out in public.
  • The "perf" sweater is different for every White Chick. It could be a turtleneck or a cardigan. But once they find it they just simply "know," much in the same way people "know" they've found the right pet in an animal shelter. It simply just pleads to them "pick me, I promise I am perfect for you."
  • Bonus points are awarded if the sweater contains some sort of emroidered accent (ie. Santa's beard, Rudolph's red nose, any sort of Christmas present bow).
  • Bonus points are also awarded if the Ugly Christmas Sweater has some sort of weird smell. Though a White Chick will surely launder said sweater before the party, the funk will nonetheless provide a funny talking point as White Chicks converse about their own unique trials and tribulations of finding their respective sweaters at the party. (Author's note: This conversation will surely occur).
  • The tackiness doesn't have to stop at just the sweater. Additional bonus points are awarded for Christmas-themed tights/leggings, ridiculous shoes, any sort of pin or hideous Christmas broche, any type of blinking light earrings/necklace and of course the Santa hat.
Ugly Christmas Sweater Parties will also typically involve a white elephant/yankee swap/or Secret-Santa gift exchange. These parties may mark the first and last time ever a White Chick samples egg nog. There may be some sort of punch that involves multiple bottles of champagne. There's the likelihood of bringing their personal favorite recipe of Christmas cookies (White Chick bonus points if they also take part in a Christmas cookie swap with a group of friends) and/or some type of Crock-Pot recipe they absolutely cherish around the Holidays.

It truly is the most wonderful time of the be a White Chick.

Happy Holidays from What White Chicks Cherish!

Come say hi on Facebook and Twitter! And please, by all means, don't be too shy to click on any of the ads you may see on WWCC (which should be below the post and below the blog archives)!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Spending, Like, Over $100 at Target on Their Lunch Hour.

During my awkward middle school days, there was no greater insult than to be told you dressed like your clothes came from Wal-Mart or K-Mart. As a middle-class tween, I lived under the constant fear of being admonished for dressing in the fashions of either of those big-box retailers.

Don't get me wrong, I've matured slightly since those days and recognize the fact that Wal-Mart offers amazing values to good, honest, hard-working people. Plus, there's simply no better place to buy wardrobe celebrating one's favorite NASCAR driver or pro wrestler AND then get an oil change. And though there is a small part of me that avoids Wal-Mart because of the corporation's inhumane treatment of it's employees, the real reason is the train wreck of humanity that makes up a large majority of its patrons truly gives me the heebie jeebies.

And I can't really comment on K-Mart, as I haven't entered one, nor have I seen one still open for business in more than a decade.

But Target, on the other hand, is simply wonderful. This bastion of big-box retail bliss makes the patriotic act of purchasing consumer goods and useful products one of life's most fantastic simple pleasures. Along with affordable goods for you and your home, Target's products feature brilliant design, the chain has great advertising and its line of male and female fashions are generally current and, dare I say, cool.

And to top off Target's undeniable splendor, there's that certain, untouchable something pumping through the atmosphere at that glorious store. Something that makes you lose all concept of time, current needs and budget. Something that makes White Chicks Cherish Spending, Like, Over $100 at Target on Their Lunch Hour.

If you're not familiar with the phenomenon of White Chicks Spending, Like, Over $100 at Target on Their Lunch Hour, please peruse this hypothetical bullet point presentation:

  • It's been a busy day in her PR office, but there a few items White Chick (WC) just simply needs from Target in order to continue life. JUST a few.
  • Upon entering Target, WC catches the yummy waft of a Pumpkin Spice Latte form the Target Starbucks (Targets containing a Starbucks inside may vary upon your location) and simply MUST have one. Before she even fully enters the store, WC is out an unintended $5.
  • WC picks up a basket and heads to the wondrous toiletries area to get what she came for: face wash, a tooth brush and some Burt's Bees lip balm. She then notices the little package of Burt's Bees goodness that contains lip gloss and hand cream in addition to lip balm. Boo yah–WC falls victim to the pre-packaged up-sell.
  • WC then decides "I'm here, I may as well restock my entire arsenal of toiletries." She then grabs toothpaste, floss, whitening strips, body wash, deodorant, some "lady" products a bottle of Advil/Mydol, shaving gel and one of those new-fangled lady razors.
  • WC then comes to realization she can't remember how much laundry detergent she has at home. Or fabric softener. Oh, and a new one of those soap-sponge dish-thingies and, of course, dish washing soap.
  • WC then returns to the store entrance and dumps her overflowing basket of goods into a buggy that will accomodate her future purchases.
  • Although WC did not intend for this to become a grocery purchasing trip, she picks up a twelve pack of Diet Coke, a box of that yummy hot chocolate and/or tea and a a box of Kashi Go Lean Crunch (Kashi cereal is to White Chicks as Wheaties is to Oympic athletes).
  • She checks her smart phone for the time and takes a few minutes to return a couple of texts, check her work email and Facebook account. She notices birthday alerts for a few friends.
  • WC then makes a stop to the card section for a couple of birthday cards and a card for her BFF that is just having one of those days/weeks/months. (White chicks LOVE greeting cards for "just because" reasons). The card section is very close to the decorative candle section and she does just LOVE that holiday scented candle.
  • Though she's running a bit late, WC is dangerously close to the female clothing section and decides, "it doesn't hurt to just look." She finds a a pair of boots that she just cannot live without, a cute top and a new pair of fuzzy socks for those lazy Sundays after brunch.
  • With two-and-a-half minutes remaining on her lunch hour, WC makes her way to the check-out area. While waiting, she picks up a copy of People, a bottle of water, a pack of that teeth whitening gum, a tiny bottle of Purel and a pack of ponty tail bands to keep in her giant handbag.
  • Despite a shopping cart full of products, WC is in incredulous disbelief when she is presented with the total retail cost of her lunch hour Target trip to pick up just a few things. Totally shocked. Aghast.
  • She'll return to the office to finish her work day without having had lunch, but will get by until she meets the girls for after work Mexican night on the bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms she also decided to pick up.
  • AND since she's gotten this far she may as well sign up for the Target credit card and get 10% off today's purchase.

Come say hi on Facebook and Twitter! And please, by all means, don't be too shy to click on any of the ads you may see on WWCC (which should be below the post and below the blog archives)!

Monday, December 13, 2010

White Chick of the Week: Eliza Gager

Earlier this year, I graduated from an advertising portfolio school in Atlanta called The Creative Circus. It's a two-year school for folks that want to find a career in the advertising industry and offers programs in Copywriting, Graphic Design, Art Direction, Interactive Web Development and Photography. (The school functions on eight 10-week quarters, so every 10 weeks there is a class of newbies and a quarter of graduates making their way into the professional world).

Essentially, it's grad school for weirdos.

It was always interesting to see the looks on old friend's faces while catching up with them and answering the proverbial "so what are you up these days" question with the words "grad school" and "Circus" in the same sentence. I can assure you, it's a legitmate, accredited institution and the basic goal is to develop a portfolio of fake ad campaigns and then the school helps you shop your portfolio or "book" around to find gainful employment.

It's a pretty fast-paced and work-intensive, albeit fun as hell, program and only Creative Circus grads truly know the amounts of stressful absurdity two years of advertising school entails. But it was a really cool experience, and pretty amazing to be surrounded by so many different, talented and weird people for a couple of years.

And it was through The Creative Circus that I was blessed enough to meet this week's White Chick of the Week. We first worked together on one of her package design projects (see picture) and quickly established a fun, snarky rapport.

When it came time for me to graduate in March of this year, she was a HUGE help in helping me get my stuff together. (Along with your "book," Creative Circus grads are required to have an "identity package" of business cards/'thank you' notes/etc and a website to display your work). So, along with putting the finishing touches on two year's worth of work for your "book," getting the "identity" stuff together AND worrying about finding a job when it's all over, the last quarter of the Creative Circus is quite frantic and stressful as hell.

And it was during this time that the WCOTW and I came up with nicknames for one another. Due to her ability to churn out quality work and her impeccable skills in the Adobe Creative Suite I dubbed her "Production Monkey." And due to my constant need for tweaks and unreasonable demands she dubbed me "Princess."

She is graduating THIS WEEK from The Creative Circus and it is a huge honor to introduce WWCC's newest White Chick of the Week. Along with being a soon-to-be graduate from the Creative Circus's Graphic Design program, she's also WWCC's first WCOTW from the Northeast. So please offer a warm welcome and a HUGE CONRATULATIONS to Eliza Gager. (You can get a sample of her wit on her blog and check out her work on her website, which is still a work in progress, so be patient. AND she's been a WWCC supporter since day one and designed the blog's awesome logo!


Name: Eliza Gager, but my friends call me Bonecrusher for some reason. (author's note: aka "Production Monkey" by only one person).

Age: 26 3/4 and I ain't ashamed of it

College/Major: Fordham University / Photography (the second least useful degree ever)

Current City: The ATL

Occupation: Professional student. And babysitter.

Hometown: New England. It’s basically all just one state.

One Quick Interesting Fact About Eliza: My family came to this great country via The Mayflower, making me a 14th generation (American) white chick.


Chick-fil-A Combo Meal: Chicken salad sandwich and waffle fries with a Diet Dr. Pepper and a side of Heinz 57 ketchup. No substitutions will be accepted.
Non-threatening Singer-Songwriter: I’m going to go old school on this one and say James Taylor (a salty New Englander if there ever was one). His mellow tunes are the soundtrack of my life.
Brand of Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans: Even though I wear jeans every day of the week, I refuse to spend actual money on them. Right now, I'm rocking American Eagle brand... $39. Unfortunately, even if I had a rockin’ job, I probably wouldn’t spend big bucks on denim. Shoes are a different story.
Boutique Cupcake Flavor: From the bakery: red velvet. However, I do make a mean Irish Car Bomb cupcake. There are three types of booze in it. Because, to a white chick, there is no better thing than cake AND booze in one delightful little package.
White Chick Flick: Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Audrey Hepburn is the ultimate white chick and the costumes are to die for. Also, it’s one of the finest entries into the “hooker with a heart of gold” movie genre. (Sidenote: the male lead, George Peppard, was also the star of my favorite childhood show, The A-Team).
Favorite White Chick Adult Beverage: My adult beverage go-to is usually a Sam Adams. However, if pressed, I do enjoy a good gin & tonic.
Favorite White Chick Lit: Unfortunately, I stopped reading “chick lit” when I was 17. I’m currently halfheartedly reading Moby Dick. Does that make me sound smarter than I really am?
Item of Accoutrement/Accessory:I’m never far from my iphone (with pink case, natch).


When did you first realize you were a white chick? I first realized I was the whitest chick around somewhere between enrolling in all-girls boarding school and wearing Lilly Pulitzer to the senior prom. Once I had accomplished these two tasks, there was no denying my whiteness.

It's been a long week at work, tell us about your ideal white chick weekend. Since I'm a student, the term "weekend" doesn't really apply to my schedule right now. However, in my imaginary world, an awesome weekend would include these highlights: sleeping in (until at least 8am. Rebellious, I know.), a fun outdoorsy activity (hiking, biking, skiing when the weather allows, etc..), an awesome meal (probably involving a burger and a beer) and then a movie accompanied by homemade popcorn.

What are some the things you cherish most as a white chick? There are almost too many to mention. I guess my top 5 favorite things about being a white chick are:

Large handbags - Where else can I store a first aid kit, mini flashlight, my laptop, iphone, ipod, combo lock to my gym locker, the latest netflix, sharpies, gum, 2 thumb drives, photo strips from the bar, my wallet, business card case, sunglass case, notebook and car keys?

Monograms - My house is a “Where’s Waldo” for the letter E. My friends are staging an intervention next week.

Flip flops - All of mine come from the white chick mecca known as JCrew. They either have an adorable embroidered critter or grosgrain ribbon on them.

Brunch - Bonus points awarded if it’s a country club brunch/bridal shower.

Golf - I was a 4-year varsity letter winner in high school. It doesn’t get much whiter than that.

Your turn to turn the tides: briefly discuss something that white guys are particularly fond that you find comical? Guys that insist on wearing a sweater around their shoulders or their waist. It’s just wrong. I’d be more than willing to sacrifice some space in my large handbag in order to prevent this atrocity.

Tell us a something about you that is very un-white chick. Oh man. Can I mention more than one? My four most un-white chick qualities are: 1) I recently spent some time at the gun range. And I liked it. A lot. 2) I’ve attended both football and baseball summer camps. I was the only girl at football camp and one of two at baseball camp. (Thanks Dad.) 3) I have a love of all things squeamish and slightly disgusting. Recently, I had one of my wisdom teeth pulled. Immediately, afterwards, I asked the nurse if I could see it. There may be a picture of it on the internet. (The show “The Walking Dead” currently satisfies my love of the gory. I love me some zombies) 4) While I do enjoy a good singer-songwriter, my heart truly lies closer to the classic rock/alternative end of the musical spectrum. I can most often be found pounding out some sweet drum solos on my steering wheel while driving around town.

Are you a Twilight fan despite being a full grown adult? Why? Dear God. No. I am in no position to judge people’s taste in film (I’ve seen Ghostbusters about 100 times); however, there is something about sparkly vampires that I just don’t get. Maybe if they added some zombies, then I’d start watching. Maybe.

Nominate yourself or a fabulous white chick friend to be WCOTW by emailing me at

Come say hi on Facebook and Twitter!

And...don't be shy, click on some of the annoying ads already!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

"Glee" white chicks cherish this show!

By combining the "best" parts of Broadway musicals and high school drama/sit-coms, "Glee" has quickly become a mega-sensation in just two seasons since debuting on the warm glowing warming glow of television.

For research's sake, I forced myself to tune into a few recent episodes of "Glee" to find out what the big, fat, hairy deal was with this show. And after a few viewings, I am convinced that ONLY white chicks, moms and homosexuals–not that there's anything wrong with that–are fans of this show.

Don't get me wrong, the show is brilliantly cast and touches on seemingly every stereotype from high school: there's the couple that always has relationship drama, the caring teacher, the sassy black and/or Asian chick, the air-headed, semi-slutty cheerleader, the uber-talented gay kid,the quirky handicapped kid, the bad boy who makes a perfect addition to the 'glee' club and others I am sure I am missing out on as I only forced myself to watch the show a couple of times. (Though I have to say Jane Lynch is truly wonderful in her role as Sue Sylvester).

And believe me, I had to force myself. You see, I am NOT a fan of musicals. (And I highly doubt most single, idiot dudes are). Call me a music snob, and you'd be absolutely correct, but I prefer bands and live concerts over a group of bubbly teens bursting into song for no apparent reason other than the fact that said song somehow fits into the current plot line. I'm trying to remove the word "hate" from my vocabulary...but it's safe to say I hate musicals. I know this is utter sacrilege in the white chick world, and I am sorry, but it's just who I am. In fact, I'd rather be waterboarded and hooked up to a car battery than voluntarily listen to "You're the One that I Want" (or any song from "Grease" for that matter, but especially THAT one).

(And as a side note I also severely dislike "American Idol," any show that includes the words "Dance" and/or "Talent" and every show that follows the "Gerund...with the Stars" formula. And don't get me started on the "Glee"-meets-"American Idol"-spin-off show "The Sing Off"...ugh).

I try not to be as dumb as I look or act, and will not allow my own cursed music snobbery get in the way of me realizing that "Glee" is HUGE! The show has cultivated a hungry cult following of "Gleeks" and gets great ratings. This year the show received 19 Emmy Award nominations (it won 4) and "Glee" has won everything from Golden Glodes to Screen Writing Guild Awards to Satellite Awards.

But what is absurdly amazing to me is the overwhelming success that the music from the show is getting. Songs performed by the cast of "Glee" are available for download on iTunes as singles and as a handful of albums. According to Wikipedia, in 2009 the cast of "Glee" had an astounding 25 singles on Billboard's "Hot 100," the most of any artist since THE BEATLES.

Since the show began, "Glee" has placed a total of 95 singles on Billboard's "Hot 100," the most of any artist since ELVIS PRESLEY! The cast's performance of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin" has been certified gold after achieving over 500,000 downloads! (Seriously, how perfect is it that one of white chicks' all time favorite songs was covered on one of their new found favorite TV shows?!? PERF!).

The show has covered songs by a slew of artists including: Madonna, Britney Spears, Billy Joel, REO Speedwagon, Aretha Franklin, the Rolling Stones and The Beatles (and literally TONS more) and songs from other musicals like "Grease," "Chicago," Les Miserables," and even "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." And there's also the special guest stars of "Glee"–Neil Patrick Harris (white chicks LOVE this dude), Kristin Chenoweth (white chicks LOVE this gal), Carol Burnett and Gwyneth Paltrow are but a few of the celebrities who have appeared on "Glee." The cast has done sold out concert tours and even appeared at The White House.

Now, I try to be an open-minded single, idiot dude. And I tried to give "Glee" a shot. I honestly did. But since a large majority of the songs on the show are covers of current pop songs (go ahead and throw most songs on the Top 40 to the list of acceptible forms of torture for me) done in a show-choir fashion, I have to say I'm not a fan. How in the world could I be?

AND, considering that one episode I saw contained a performance of the unmentionally horrible Train song "Hey, Soul Sister" ( there anything we can do to put an end to this song and band already?) I am sure you can understand, dear reader, that the odds are unfairly stacked against me. I'm just a single, idiot dude who is a self-proclaimed music snob. I'm not a white chick, a mom or a homosexual–not that there's anything wrong with that–so I am clearly not "Glee's" target audience. And this fact was later reaffirmed in the same episode with a rousing rendition of "I've Had the Time of My Life" which is THE song from "Dirty Dancing"–another white chick all time favorite. (I do know better than to ever disparage "Dirty Dancing").

I've come to the conclusion that I hold "Glee" much in the same regard as I do figure skating (which is a "sport" also predominantly enjoyed by white chicks, moms and homosexuals–not that there's anything wrong with that). I am fully and admittedly aware that its participants are extremely disciplined, talented and gifted AND are much more successful in their chosen fields than I will likely ever be in mine. And I can live with that fact. BUT watching those talents on display will never, EVER make appreciate them more than I already do not.

Come say hi on Facebook and Twitter! And please, by all means, don't be too shy to click on any of the ads you may see on WWCC (which should be below the post and below the blog archives)!

Friday, December 3, 2010

White Chick(s) of the Week:Elizabeth and "Legally Fabulous"

I've always operated under the philosophy that if one of anything is fabulous, then two is freaking amazing. So, when I got a request from two spectacular white chicks wanting to be co-WCOTW, I was intrigued to say the least.

And just as the blog has sort of been a social media experiment for me--one that has truly shown me how awesome it is to see things spread across the Interweb--this week's installment of WCOTW further proves the effectiveness of the medium. When I got the WCOTW request from two white chicks, I just assumed they were BFF's from way back in the day.

But these gals are a tad different, they're Twitter BFFs. After exchanging a few emails and realizing they live in entirely different cities and were born in different states, it became apparent something was a little off.

"We don't actually 'know' each other," they wrote. "We met on Twitter! It's like eHarmony for girlfriends!"

So please give a warm WCOTW welcome to Elizabeth (that's her below on the left. You can visit her on Twitter at @E_K_M and read her blog here. ) and Legally Fabulous/LF goes by the handle @LegallyFab1 and her blog is here.


EKM: One never asks a lady's age.
LF: 25

EKM: Auburn University/Public Relations and Management (War Damn Eagle!)
LF: University of Illinois, BS in Broadcast Jorunalism, then law school. (is there a more typical privileged white chick educational path?)

Current City:
EKM: Around Alabama
LF: Chicago

EKM: The capital of sweet home Alabama
LF: Dallas, TX

One Quick, Interesting Fact:
EKM: Everything is interesting about me!
LF: I have a JD and work 18 hours a week for 15 dollars an hour.

The Things They Cherish Most:

Chick-fil-A Combo Meal:
EKM: No. 1 on wheat, no pickles, water on a good day, fountain coke on a bad day.
LF: No. 1 with a Diet Lemonade

Non-Threatening Singer-Songwriter:
EKM:Taylor Swift or Christmas Music
LF: Probably Taylor Swift as well. Taylor doesn't just sing songs, she tells stories. Our stories.

Brand of Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans:
EKM: I like my nice Sevens that are more trouser like, but I really wear !iT more, they fit great.
Citizens of Humanity... those aren't ridiculously expensive though?

Boutique Cupcake Flavor:
EKM: Strawberry with cream cheese frosting or anything chocolate.
LF: Red Velvet.

White Chick Flick:
Just saw "Life As We Know It" which was great & total chick flick! But "The Holiday" wins.
LF: "DreamGirls" and all Tyler Perry films.

Favorite Adult Beverage:
EKM: red wine or bourbon
LF: Red Bull/vodka (sugar-free redbull please)

Favorite White Chick Lit:
EKM: Harry Potter and Pat Conroy books are great. And if you're a true WC and majored in pr/broadcast journalism or journalism, you'd know Strunk&White Elements of Style and the AP Stylebook are also near and dear to your heart.
LF: All of Jenn Lancaster's books... I think she is my long lost older sister.

Item of Accoutrement/Accessory:
EKM: Pearls, duh.
LF: I have a big, obnoxious diamond Michele watch that I always wear.


When did you first realize you were a white chick?
EKM: I was born that way.
LF: When my mom told me the other night that she wished she hadn't given me everyhting I'd ever asked for in my entire life.

It's been a long week at work, tell us about your ideal white chick weekend.
EKM: Football in the SEC! Keeping Legally Fab in line via social media and texting.
LF: Binge drinking and husband hunting.

If you could be the contestant on any reality show which one would you choose and why?
EKM: Well LF and I would be in our own reality show. We've already taken a twitter poll and people said they would watch us on TV. It would consist of LF being her usual cray cray self, the dog Elle Woods, EKM and her undying love for Auburn and the state of Alabama. It might be on Lifetime Network unless Bravo picked us up. We would make appearances on the TODAY show because that's what WC's watch in the mornings. The Kardashians and Bethenny Frankel (and baby Brynn and assistant Julie) would want to hang out with us for sure. I think it would be more of a traveling show so we could visit all our twitter friends and see other WC's across the nation.

LF: I kind of hate reality TV. Biggest Loser is my favorite but I don't quite qualify for that yet, so I'm gonna default to EKM here. I need my own show. My life is kind of hilarious/ridiculous, so I'm sure it'd be a hit.

Your wildest dreams come true and you have a chance to be a guest on Oprah, Ellen or Live with Regis&Kelly but only ONE: What did you do to become famous and which show would you want to appear on?
EKM: Oprah, because she gives away free stuff. Ellen is funny but sometimes she's not as popular. Although she did make the "it's just like a mini mall!" guy famous and he's from my hometown. I'm just waiting for Antoine Dodson to show up on her show. Kelly is too skinny, I would feel uncomfortable being next to her and Regis is losing his touch!

LF: I hate Oprah. I text while driving just because I know she doesn't want me to, so that's obviously out. I feel "meh" about Ellen, so I guess Regis and Kelly. I'll probably become famous for defending someone in some sort of ridiculous criminal trial.

Tell us a something about you that is very un-white chick
EKM: I would say going hunting but that seems to be a regular occurrence here in Alabama, so I'd say going to the restroom not in a designated restroom.

LF: I love Beyonce. Like, I'm obsessed. I guess after single ladies that's a pretty white chick thing to say though.

If you could trade places with any famous white chick who would it be and why?
EKM: Probably one of the Bush twins, because they're normal and don't get in trouble like LiLo and Paris. And well now after Kim K's magazine, deal, that's just not so nice.

LF: I like EKM's answer... I'm obsessed with the Bush family. But probably Nancy Grace... she has my dream job. And you either love her or you hate her, which we definitely have in common.

Nominate yourself or a fabulous white chick friend to be WCOTW by emailing me at

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Wednesday, December 1, 2010

White Chick Problems (aka. First World Problems)

Dear white chicks, white chick enthusiasts and loyal WWCC readers;

Please accept my most sincere apologies for the lack of content lately. I know this will come as a pitiful excuse for an apology for this egregious error, but I have something of a good cause for the lack of WWCC posts lately. I was out of town for a couple of days before Thanksgiving week and spent the entire week of Turkey Day at home--mooching off my parent's bountiful supply of groceries and enjoying a week surrounded by family. And upon my return to Atlanta I was stricken with a cold (it seems half my extended family was sick over Thanksgiving, so it was only a matter of time before it caught up to me), and so today WWCC returns with a new post. Finally.

I'd plan to do this post to coincide with Thanksgiving, but alas the aforementioned reasons and my lifelong battle with procrastination got the better of me. But it occurred to me over the break that, despite my paltry bank account and relative lack of success in the job hunt, that I still have a lot of reasons to be thankful. I'm blessed with a great family, awesome friends and the sweetest dog ever. Despite its abundance of crapulence at times, life can still be wonderful.

And while I am positive white chicks everywhere have equally important reasons to be thankful this holiday season, I also can only barely fathom how difficult it is to be a white chick at times. Life, despite its ability to be wonderful in times of crapulence, is rarely a walk in the park for white chicks. In fact, it's damn hard to be a white chick. Like hunted prey in the wilderness, white chicks have to be incredibly nimble to stay adorable and up to date in an incredibly competitive and ever-changing environment. I said this before in a previous post, but for white chicks the competition is everywhere and it always looks fabulous.

So as an ode to the arduous, up-hill battle white chicks face on a daily basis just for being white chicks, I decided to compile a list of White Chick Problems (aka. First World Problems). And while these challenges are hardly cherished, they should nonetheless be known to the world as they help build the immaculate fortitude that make white chicks such a truly magical breed.

Common White Chick/First World Problems may include, but not are limited to, any of the following:
  • When water-proof mascara is so water-proof it does not come off after washing their face, like, three times.
  • The "Sophie's Choice" decision of choosing to either watch or DVR "Gossip Girl" or "The Bachelor" on Monday nights.
  • When that selfish careless slut in front of of them in line takes the last red velvet cupcake.
  • When the only phone call/text they receive from a guy on Friday nights is labelled in their phones as "Don't Answer. EVER."
  • Beverage choices: Wine vs Cocktail vs Wheat Beer.
  • When the stupid Presidential Address interrupts "Glee" (or any other favorite show)
  • Finding the "perf" pair of boots ON SALE but they are a half-size too big/small.
  • Late Night Choices: Sack of Krystals, wine and a chick-flick with the girls or answering the Booty Call.
  • When they clearly ordered a triple-shot Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks but it's evident there is only two-shots in the cup.
  • Having to decide what to order to eat on a first date.
  • Having to jerry-rig the strap on their favorite over-sized handbag because the buckle broke.
  • Spilling their Pumpkin Spice Latte on their laptop.
  • Trying to decide when to "Friend" a new crush on Facebook. Do they wait for him to do it or brazenly do it themselves?
  • Getting upset when their favorite band that THEY DISCOVERED suddenly is liked by EVERYONE. (ie. Kings of Leon).
  • Setting their alarm clock for PM instead of AM on Black Friday.
  • Having to choose where to eat for the "Girls Night Out Birthday Dinner" and subsequently figuring out how to overcome the "no separate checks" policy.
  • Facing the impossible fact that they just talked to a guy with lipstick/spinach/some foreign substance stuck in their teeth.
  • The difficulty of finding a way for their new watch/necklace/earrings, etc. to match their other jewelry.
  • Having to feign gratitude when their boyfriend's mother gives them a gift card for a Christmas/birthday present.
  • The horrid reality that Prince William is marrying "that girl."
  • When their roommate carelessly erases the latest and unwatched episode of "So You Think You Can Dance" or "True Blood" before they had a chance to watch it.
  • Arriving to a social event to see a total skank wearing the same dress/outfit. And NOT being able to go back home and change.
  • Not being able to wear their favorite heels on a date for fear of being taller than the gentleman caller.
  • Meeting the perfect guy only to find out later he likes Nickelback and owns/wears Ed Hardy clothing. Or he's gay.
  • Farting during yoga/pilates class.
  • The fear of farting on a first date/job interview/meeting his parents for the first time.
  • When Chick-Fil-A forgets to provide a straw when they order a giant fountain Diet Coke or Peppermint milkshake (author's note: I am sure this rarely happens as Chick-Fil-A never forgets the straw in the drive-thru...but if this were to ever happen it would likely bring about the end of humanity).
  • When a restaurant's fountain regrettably runs out of Diet Coke or only offers Diet Pepsi or Coke Zero (It's just not the same).
  • When the Avett Brothers' concert sells out before they can get tickets OR the Avetts fail to perform their favorite song
  • Lumpy/congealed/unacceptable queso dip at Mexican night with the girls.
  • Groceries or Highlights?
  • Bridesmaid dresses.
  • Having to wait, like over a WEEK, for a new post on What White Chicks Cherish. And/or waiting for their turn to be White Chick of the Week.
  • When their girlfriends go see "Eat Pray Love" before they've had a chance to finish reading the book.
  • Crying when they're drunk and overdressed at a college football game when their team loses in overtime/to the hated rival. (Bonus points if you are, unfortunately, a Clemson fan).
  • Having to substitute Monster or a lesser energy drink when they order a Red Bull and Vodka at the bar. (OR if the bar doesn't have Sugar-Free Red Bull).
  • Not discovering until in daylight out of the house that their black leggings and black boots aren't the same shade of black.
  • Missing the sale at Anthropologie.
  • When their new manicure makes it difficult to type/text on their laptops or iPhones.
  • When the strap on their favorite shoes/dress/bra/flip-flops breaks.
  • When their spray tan leaves an orange residue/hue on their 600 thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets.
  • The sad truth that delicious red wine temporarily causes "grey teeth"
What did WWCC leave out? Let us know on Facebook or Twitter