Thursday, March 31, 2011

Girl Talk

For those of you who may not know, I spent about seven years of my life as a freelance writer covering music for a few regional papers and publications. Along with being woefully underpaid, the job afforded me the luxury or free tickets and near-limitless “plus-ones,” and the chance to interview some of my personal heroes in music. And I am have no qualms in saying that period of “professional journalism” in my 20s combined with an adolescence of locking myself in my bedroom devouring albums until I knew every nuance of every song and being best friends with like-minded music fiends throughout my life have turned me into a music snob.

Not that I wasn’t a music snob before my stint in woefully underpaid freelance writing, but I am certain that time of my life as a paid professional ALLOWS me to be a music snob.

But music snob single-idiot males and “music snob” White Chicks hardly share the same definition of music snobbery.

Now, I personally know several White Chicks whom I consider to be music enthusiasts­–dare I say “music snobs.” Yes, they own iPods chock full of bands that are far off the pop culture radar AND spend much of their yearly paid time off and disposable income on attending concerts by such bands. But they aren’t really “music snobs” in the grand scheme of things.

I think it’s impossible for White Chicks to be TRUE music snobs.

Sure, White Chick, you may have been to X number of concerts by jam bands like Phish, the Dave Matthews Band or Widespread Panic, but don’t you also own Madonna’s Greatest Hits?  Yes, I know you were deeply offended when a band you discovered (i.e. the Avett Brothers or Mumford and Sons) all of a sudden hit it big and now, like, every one likes them, but don’t you still spin The Backstreet Boys on occasion? (Author’s side note, I am still not entirely convinced that Mumford and Sons and the Avett Brothers are not the same band).

Yeah, White Chick, I know you listen to at least one indie band with the name of an animal in its title (i.e. Fox, Bear or Deer), but don’t you watch “Glee” and “American Idol” religiously? And I know you felt super cool for knowing who on Earth The Arcade Fire were BEFORE this year’s Grammy Awards, but didn’t you buy Britney Spear’s new album the day it came out?

Now, I am sure I seem like a grumpy-old curmudgeon by disparaging popular music, and that’s fine. I’ll freely admit to thinking that roughly 97% of today’s “pop” music is inane, formulaic drivel. And I certainly don’t intend to rain on anyone’s parade with my musical opinions. I like what I like and vehemently dislike what I dislike. It’s who I am and it’s way too late in life to change that. (Sorry. Not sorry…as the White Chicks like to say).

But despite a White Chick’s self-professed level of music knowledge or music snobbery, it’s an inevitable fact that White Chicks will dig nearly any type of music made by nearly any type of “artist” simply because:

  • It’s fun to sing along to in the car/road trip with the BFFs
  • They can blast it while they clean their house in sweatpants
  • It’s great for working out
  • It makes them dance.
And I’m convinced these are reasons why White Chicks Cherish Girl Talk.

For those unfamiliar, Girl Talk is the stage name of one Greg Gillis, whose mash-up electronic dance songs have given him a meteoric rise to fame and popularity. I’ll give the guy credit; his ability to merge seemingly disparate songs into one cohesive electronic dance song is clever. But that doesn’t mean I think it’s good.

(I tried to listen to some Girl Talk songs while diligently researching this post for the blog, and I found myself abandoning each one in disgust after a couple of minutes. I literally cannot stand that shit. And I know I sound like my old man when I say it gives me a headache, but it does. I like bands and musicians who PLAY INSTRUMENTS AND WRITE THEIR OWN SONGS. And I just fail to see the brilliance in some white dude pushing buttons on his Mac Book and creating “music” that has already been made by OTHER PEOPLE.)

But despite my obvious distaste for and disinterest in Girl Talk, White Chicks LOVE this guy. At least once a week I see a Facebook status update which references Girl Talk in some way: be it an excited post about going to see Girl Talk or posting a photo from the concert the next day (which always features a packed house, so maybe I am alone in my Girl Talk opinions?). It also makes me wonder just how many damn concerts a year this “musician” puts on.

I turned 34 this year and, as they say, with age comes wisdom. Now, I’ll never claim to be a wise man, but I’m also not nearly as dumb as I look or act. But there is one fact of life that I know to be inherently true:

If you can make White Chicks dance, you are home free.

And, the only single, idiot males who go to Girl Talk shows are only doing so in the hopes of hooking up with a White Chick in attendance. Or they're gay...not that there's anything wrong with that.

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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

White Chick(s) of the Week: Kelli Gilreath and Stacy Holcombe

This week, WWCC once again ventures into unchartered territory with the latest installment of the White Chick of the Week. This week, we double the normal amount of astounding White Chick-dom that is showcased on the WCOTW feature with WWCC’s first set of twins.

Like all idiot men (and I say this in a totally respectful and non-creepy way) there is just something undeniable about twins. So when I received an email from not just one, but two, fabulous White Chicks espousing their love of WWCC and wanting to be featured, I was twice as inclined as I would have previously been to grant their request.

So, without further ado, please welcome the latest and greatest (and up-to-date the most identical) White Chick(s) of the week: Kelli Gilreth and Stacy Holcombe. (In case you have trouble telling them apart, Kelli’s on the left and Stacy’s on the right). The twin sisters have also taken to the Interwebs and blogosphere as “The Single Gal and the Housewife,” follow them on their blog and on Tumblr.


Kelli Gilreath (from here on referred to as KG)
Stacy Holcombe (from here on referred to as SH)

KG: 27
SH: 27 (11 minutes older than Kelli)

KG: The University of Georgia/English  (Go Dawgs!)
SH: Reinhardt College/ English

KG: Claims Adjuster/Auto Insurance Industry 
SH: I recently quit my glam (insert sarcasm here) Claims Adjustor job to stay home and raise my LWC (Little White Chick aka White Chick In Training).  I mean, behind every great White Chick was a great White Chick Mom.
Current City:
KG: Just North of Atlanta.
SH: White Chick Suburb of Atlanta, GA (and 15 min from Kelli obvi).

KG: Grew up on the south side of ATL and left as soon as possible. 
SH: Not So White Chick Suburb of Atlanta, GA.

One Quick Interesting Fact:
KG: My next-door neighbor was legit arrested for murder in December!!!! From what I can gather it appears to be a classic love triangle with the wife trying to get an insurance payout. It's kind of scary but sort of makes me feel like I have a small part in a soap opera.  Neighbor Pete could be like the evil Stefano from “Days of Our Lives.
SH: I can apply mascara ambidextrously- a secret WC talent.


Chick-fil-A Combo Meal:
KG:#1 Breakfast Combo with a large unsweet tea.
SH: #1 with an Arnold Palmer

Non-threatening Singer-Songwriter:
KG: Dave Matthews
SH: Brad Paisley

Brand of Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans:
KG: I know everyone has them, but I LOVE Sevens. And Hudsons. And Citizens.  (Let's just say I have a severe addiction to REBJ, K?)
SH: Joes

Boutique Cupcake Flavor:
KG: Wedding Cake
 SH: Candied Sweet Potato

White Chick Flick: 
KG: I am really torn between "Legends of The Fall" because Brad is so delicious and "Four Weddings and A Funeral" because I have a serious affection for cute, smart, and quirky British men (especially the ones with red hair). 
SH: I’m torn between "Legends of The Fall" (Brad never looked better) and "The Lake House". Sandra on her knees at the end, furiously writing Keanu another letter….do I need to say anymore?

Favorite white chick adult beverage:
KG: Pinot Grig or Vodka Soda (VS's for when I am planning a ridiculous Sunday Brunch the next day and need to save calories.)
SH: Gin and Tonic with extra limes

Favorite White Chick Lit:
KG: "The Time Traveler's Wife" and "Vanity Fair".   
SH: “Shopaholic series”, Nora Roberts, “Persuasion” by Jane Austin and “The Age of Innocence” by Edith Wharton

Item of Accoutrement/accessory:
KG: David Yurman (I am for serious on a first name basis with a manager at my local store), my Starbucks Gold Card, and my iPhone.
SH: Louis Vuitton Neverfull GM, Cockpit Ray Bans, Kindle (to read my WC Lit) and my David Yurman.


It's been a long week at work, tell us about your ideal white chick weekend
SG: Friday night I usually come home to decompress and catch up on DVR because I never watch my shows during the week (I am SHAMEFULLY behind on Gossip Girl).  But, once I wake up refreshed on Saturday morning any of the following could occur: 

-running with Stacy or coffee/errands/shopping/manis
-meeting my fave White Chicks in the city for drinks and general debauchery
-dinner dates  
-some sort of family event 
-watching White Chick flicks or reading White Chick lit

SH: Since the arrival of the LWC I usually enjoy going for a run with Kelli on Saturday morning and hopefully we have a babysitter lined up to do fun things on Saturday night like a Thrashers game or dinner with friends. It’s still a little hard to get my White Chick party on because the LWC currently wakes up at midnight and 3:30 am. The doctor has advised me that she is on the petite side- already throwing her White Chick-ness in my face. Diva baby.

What are some the things you cherish most as a white chick?
KG: Anything with the letter "K", Starbucks, and carrying all I would ever need in my ridiculously over-sized handbag if I needed to hop on a plane at any moment for a spur of the moment weekend away (my super fabulous and wealthy suitor would, of course, buy any other clothes I might need upon arrival). And koozies.  Big fan of koozies. 

SH: Shopping, dressing the LWC, manicures, reading the WWCC blog and tailgating SEC style in the fall.

If you could be on any reality show which one would you choose and why?
KG: Stacy and I would make a pretty awesome "Amazing Race" duo.  Loved by viewers AND our competitors.  Let's face it--twins are universal. We might fight but only for like 5 minutes and then we would be totally over it.  Also--we really would win--Stacy is super competitive.  Everyone thinks she is all nice and sweet but there is a predator underneath that pretty smile. You've been warned. 

SH: First off, no respectable White Chick would be caught dead on the Bachelor these days. We can find our own White Boys without ABC’s help.  Kelli and I would be on “The Amazing Race” because we make a great team and we’re cute White Chicks. That should help us in most countries…. and being twins.

Tell us a something about you that is very un-white chick
KG: I really like cutting the grass.  I also really love watching Top Gear on BBC America--even though I don't really care about cars.  

SH: I enjoy cutting the grass even though my husband refuses to let me do it. I also can’t decorate very well. I have good ideas but have difficulties in putting them together. All White Chicks are supposed to have homes that belong on the pages of Southern Living Magazine, right?

If you could trade places with any famous white chick who would it be and why?
KG: Kelly Rippa, duh.  I was seriously born for her job.  I excel at being cute while acting silly and flirting with older men.  The fact that Mark Consuelos is unbelievably gorg doesn't hurt either.  He would be part of the package, right?

SH: Jessica Biel, she is in such fantastic shape and seems like the ultimate guy’s girl.

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Monday, March 21, 2011

Bachelorette Parties

Several years ago, I was in downtown Charleston, heading to meet some friends for a responsible night of binge drinking, when I answered a call from then-girlfriend. Mid-way through our conversation, a group of slightly loud and obviously drunk girls approached me. 

Being the thoughtful guy that I am, I devoted as much attention the phone conversation with then-girlfriend as I could, but I noticed one girl out the group was wearing a silly little veil-headband/tiara combo and a sash that said “Bride to Be.” She also had Lifesavers candies miscellaneously attached to the top she was wearing.

“Hey,” the ringleader of the bunch said (obviously a little tipsy and loud enough for then-girlfriend to overhear, “do you want to suck for a buck?”

Thanks to previous talks with then-girlfriend I knew what the term “suck for a buck” meant and since then-girlfriend overheard the question she asked, “Did those girls just ask you to suck for a buck?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Oh my god, you HAVE to do it,” said then-girlfriend.

And with that I handed the ringleader $5 (I was hoping to get change back, and of course I didn’t) and proceeded to eat one of the Lifesavers off the candy-laden top of the veil-headbanded/Bride to Be sash girl. (Of course since I was out $5, I chose the Lifesaver closest to her breast…sorry, then-girlfriend, but I get my money's worth).

I cite this example not to demonstrate my approachability, totally acceptable and non-creepy perversion or to demonstrate that a fool and his money are soon parted BUT to make another point entirely. Why would a group of celebratory drunk girls approach a stranger and ask for his hard-earned money for the opportunity to put his mouth in close proximity to their friend’s breast (albeit OVER the shirt)? AND why would then-girlfriend of said stranger encourage her then-boyfriend to perform such an act?

The answer is simple: White Chicks Cherish Bachelorette Parties.

Maybe it’s a girl’s weekend at a gorgeous coastal destination (like Charleston, SC for example). Or maybe it’s just a jam-packed night out in whichever city with transportation provided by the Fur Bus. Either way it’s a once in a lifetime chance to get all the BFF’s together, drink heavily, wear pretty outfits and celebrate the impending marriage of that one lucky girl.

White Chick Bachelorette parties may include any/all of the following elements:

  • The “Suck for a Buck” or candy necklace gimmick, as referenced in this post’s opening. Essentially it’s a way for White Chicks to finance their night of drinking by letting single men put their mouths all over the Bride to Be. (bonus points if said candies are penis-shaped).
  • Dancing to 80’s music at Wet Willie’s (White Chicks already love, love, LOVE 80’s music. But when it is combined with an entire wall full of frozen drink possibilities…OMG, watch out!)
  • Penis-shaped everything (comically over-sized glasses, charm necklaces, earrings, the penis straw, etc).
  • The crappy fake veil-headband/tiara and “Bride to Be” sash and “Maid of Honor” and “Bridesmaid” buttons (or some other fashionable way to designate each white chick’s role in the upcoming wedding). Don’t forget the colorful feather boas or some item of accoutrement that glows in the dark and/or contains blinking lights.
  • Color coordinated outfits (i.e. Bride to Be in white, the bridal party in black).
  • The one control freak in the group who has the entire night/weekend’s activities planned, right down to the nano-second. Though she may never appear to outwardly enjoy herself at all during the BP weekend, she actually relishes in the control. Type-A white chicks LOVE this; they can’t get enough of it.
  • Obsessive Type-A, super-planner White Chick may or may not have created commemorative t-shirts, coozies and mixed CDs that serve as the soundtrack for the entire bachelorette weekend for each White Chick in attendance. 
  • This may be the subject of a completely separate shower (another thing involving weddings that White Chicks are completely consumed with putting on:  linen showers, stock the bar showers, lawn and garden showers, college team colors tailgate accessory showers, etc.) But there may or may not be a lingerie gift shower at the Bachelorette Party. And if so, it is a safe bet there will be at least one purchase for the Bride to Be that contains the words “crotchless” and “edible.” 
  • Someone in the group is going to vomit. Like, A LOT. 
  • If by some off chance that the Groom to Be’s Bachleor Party is the same weekend and same city (though any White Chick worth her mettle can testify that this is a terrible idea and a huge faux pas) there will be covert, secret-agent-like actions taking place to see “what the boys are up to.” 
  • That one girlfriend in the group who is coming off a recent break up and, once supremely over-served, breaks down in tears because she fears she’ll be alone forever. 
  • The one girlfriend in the group who is, like, WAY sluttier than everyone else and disappears throughout the night to hook up with that sketchy guy in the bathroom/dark corner booth/outside while “sharing” a cigarette. 
  • The one girlfriend in the group who is already married with kids and uses the Bachelorette party as a chance to cram as much partying and freedom into the weekend/night as possible. Of course she ends up getting MEGA-HAMMERED and is subsequently hung over the rest of the time. 
  • That one friend who either at dinner, or at some point throughout the night, spills something on her favorite dress…thanks to the irreversible stain, her night/weekend is ruined. 
  • Using the excuse “it’s ok, we’re on a Bachelorette Party” to justify dancing on the bar (especially if it’s the one typically shy girl in the group who normally would never do such a thing) or any other type of behavior that is normally not acceptable in public. 
  • Someone in the group will suffer an embarrassing drunken stumble and may or may not have a bruise and/or skinned knee/elbow/twisted ankle to show for it the next day. 
  • The one cute guy at the bar who thinks he has a real shot to hook up/sleep with the Bride to Be. Umm hello…does he not notice the nearly-a-dozen cute, drunk single girls in attendance? What. A. Creep. 
  • Late night dance party/wine drinking/eating a bunch of fattening foods/late night chick flick fest. This is when cute outfits yield to comfy clothes. There will be lots of yoga pants and headbands. And at least one sorority shirt with a quote from a Dave Matthews Band song on the back. (i.e. White Rose Semi-Formal ’03: “Turns out not where but who you’re with that really matters”). 
  • Cell phone/digital camera pictures of just about every single second of the entire Bachelorette Party weekend. 
  • Brunch the next day where recollections of the previous night and cell phone photos of white chicks behaving way outside of their usual white chick comfort zone will be shared and openly discussed. There will also be a miscellaneous bruise comparison and the coveted contest to prove who has the worst hangover. 
  • Best. Bachelorette. Party. EVER. (until the next one, at least) 

Mucho thanks to the WWCC Brain Trust for their contributions to/approval for items in this post (you know who you are). And to Ashley Hesseltine for supplying the photo.

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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Spring Festival Season

It’s a special time of the year when winter slowly gives way to spring. There’s a sense of rebirth and hope associated with the season, plus it’s always awesome to get home from work at night and it not be pitch-black dark outside.

It’s nearly impossible to peg any season as the “favorite” season for White Chicks. All four of them have their own unique appeal to this truly special and wonderful species. But the magic of spring not only lies in its warm weather and increasing amounts of sunlight per day, it’s also the season’s unique ability to re-introduce the words “…and Arts Festival” into White Chick parlance year after year after year. 

Or maybe it's a Beer Festival. Or a Wine Festival. Bonus points if there's a parade. Double bonus if part of the arts and crafts includes a booth of unique jewelry made out of repurposed something or other.

Regardless of its subject matter, White Chicks Cherish Spring Festival Season and barely need a good reason to dress cute and go drink outside with their BFFs.

Spring Festival Season generally kicks off with St. Patrick’s Day and is quite a heralded time of the year for White Chicks. These glorious events usually take part in certain “cool neighborhoods” in larger cities, public parks/green spaces or perhaps a closed-down Main Street area or a sectioned-off,  walkable and relatively safe retail district. Outdoor Spring Festivals are essentially the exact same thing as Overdressing for College Football Games for White Chicks in that the event(s) involve super-cute outfits and day drinking. Only replace football games with live bands, glorious arts and crafts and handmade jewelry.

Because Festival Season usually begins on the cusp of two seasons, it affords White Chicks the opportunity to merge their favorite forms of fashion from Winter and Spring. There are two ways to view this phenomenon as well: 1) White Chicks are defiantly holding on to their favorite winter clothing items (namely boots and tights). 2) White Chicks are slightly jumping the gun on busting out the preferred items of their spring wardrobe (i.e. sundresses, flip-flops, gladiator sandals, etc.)

(Author’s note: the above paragraph and possibly this entire post may only apply to White Chicks in temperate climates like the Southeast, Gulf Coast, Texas and portions of the West Coast. WWCC would like to extend a heartfelt apology to White Chicks in parts of the country that actually still have to deal with winter weather well into March and early April. Bummer for you. For real. That really must suck.)

Festival Season outfits look like a super cute explosion occurred in a White Chick’s closet right between her winter and spring items. There may be tall boots tucked into ridiculously expensive blue jeans (REBJ). But there may also be sundresses with cowboy boots. Or maybe the REBJs will be rolled the enormous mid-calf cuff and paired with cute sandals. Maybe there’s even a summer scarf (or perhaps a festive boa?) or two involved. And you can bet your ass there will be Oversized Sunglasses, which may or may not get destroyed depending on the rowdiness of said festival.

Another White Chick item that tends to make its debut around Festival Season is the Over-sized Handbag Designed by an Outdoor Clothing Company. Maybe its real name is a “day pack,” or “hiking pack” or “lumbar pack,” but in all actuality it’s an overpriced, glorified fanny pack with additional straps to enable it to double as a purse-like bag with additional storage space for White Chick Festival Season Gear.

From her digital camera to her cell phone to a personalized water bottle to her wallet to her denim jacket (in case the temps get cold later in the day) to a back-up water bottle filled with vodka (just in case), this bag basically does everything an over-sized handbag is capable of doing, but it's designed to better handle the outdoors. And, it will be branded with The North Face, Columbia, REI, Marmot, Mountain Hardwear or Pattagonia logo. Plus, the Over-sized Handbag Designed by an Outdoor Clothing Company gives White Chicks a lot of faux-hippie cred with the jam band world when they carry these bags to outdoor summer concerts by Dave Matthews, Phish or Widespread Panic versus their regular Over Sized Handbags.

But the best part of Festival Season is the word “Season” itself. This is no “one and done” time of the year. If up to date on the goings-on in her given city/geographic region, a well-informed White Chick and her crew of adorable BFFs can easily find at least one outdoor festival per weekend to attend through late May. Possibly even June. And that’s a lot of time for cute outfits, day drinking and general merriment in glorious sunshine-y weather...and of course plenty of photo-ops, because White Chicks love taking pictures of, like, everything they do.

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Monday, March 14, 2011

White Chick of the Week: Emily Rehse

Not to sound too much like a broken record, but I’m consistently surprised by the warm reception WWCC keeps getting. I study the blog’s analytics with something resembling Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and it’s absolutely thrilling to see blog comments, tweets, comments on the Facebook page and readers gladly sharing the blog.
Boo yah!
And not a week goes by where I don’t receive an email from a WWCC fan either wanting to nominate a white chick pal for WCOTW or simply nominating themselves. You just have to admire the confidence of a gal to nominate themselves for White Chick of the Week.
And if you don’t believe me, just meet the latest WCOTW.

Name: Emily "Betty Crocker" Rehse
Age: 24, and not scared one bit that 30 is around the corner.
College/Major: Armstrong Atlantic State University. I've taken a 5-year hiatus for the Mr. and now it's head first in the books to get that Master's in British Literature. (That's right, White Chick Nerd Alert.)
Occupation: Wife first, Diva second. Whiner, Wisher, & Writer for 
Hometown: Savannah, Georgia
Current city: Savannah, Georgia
One Quick Interesting Fact about Emily: I'm from one of the oldest families in Savannah, we came right after that hot mess the books called a debtor's colony. 

Chick-fil-A Combo Meal: Char-grilled Chicken Club with Fries & a Diet Lemonade (As if anyone could walk away without one, blasphemers.)

Non-threatening Singer-Songwriter: It's tied amongst Cat Stevens, James Taylor & John Hiatt.
Brand of Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans: I keep it classy and classic. Calvin Klein is my man for denim.
Boutique Cupcake Flavor: Boutique? Honey no, this girl wakes and bakes. Favorites? Praline Pecan & Red Velvet. Savannah is the hostess city, you have to earn your stripes in the kitchen.
White Chick Flick: I can't pick just one. Chick flicks to me aren't light and fluffy, I love seeing trials and tribulations overcome. Think “Gone With the Wind,” “Pride & Prejudice” (Matthew Not Colin), and “Top Gun.”
Adult Beverage: Mint Julep with Firefly or Moët & Chandon Rosé Impérial
Favorite White Chick Lit: This is where I like it fluffy, I'm a huge? No, monstrous fan of Jane Austen, Tolkien (he and my uncle were pen pals.) and Joanne Rowling, but sometimes, a girl needs a fluffy book and a bubble bath, for that Jen Lencaster is a must. “Pretty in Plaid” gets me rolling!
Item of Accoutrement/accessory: I don't leave the house without my villager filled with my planner, fresh sugar lip balm, gloss addiction of the week, current mags from Bazaar, Good Housekeeping and Coastal Living, as well as flip flops for when I need to recoup from a long day with a pedi.
When did you first realize you were a white chick?
Right about the time, I realized the jewelry store my granny was always stopping in belonged to us. I had a full chest of silver at the ripe age of 5.
It's been a long week at work, tell us about your ideal white chick weekend.
Saturdays are typically for the outdoors, Mr and I usually go to the park with the dogs if it's sunny. If not, we fire up the popcorn and hit the Netflix. Sundays are the best however; we go to noon communion and then, depending on the company, we either brunch at the Oglethorpe Club or the Savannah Yacht Club. Best days are Omelet days. Perfection.
What are some the things you cherish most as a white chick?
 Any day spent with my mom and step dad are the best. It's like my very own version of “Leave It To Beaver,” only my mother is wearing Talbots and there are no boys around.
Your wildest dreams come true and you have a chance to be a guest on Oprah, Ellen or Live with Regis & Kelly but only ONE: What did you do to become famous and which show would you want to appear on?
I would hope it would be for my novel I'm writing. It's taking my life and others and turning it into a modern mash up of a classic. I can't elaborate because then I'd be giving it away! I'd have to say Ellen, I love her charisma and she has such a genuine nature. I'm not a Oprah fan. I think was once sincere but now is just a big rich phony. As for R&K, I didn't know they were still together. Woopsie!
If you could trade places with any famous white chick who would it be and why?
Easy! Queen Elizabeth. Not only is she queen but she rules with such pose, grace and femininity. I know it's 2011, but to me it’s such a blast from the past. And when everyone was wearing all these cutesy tooties princess idiom accessories, I was like why settle? I want to be QUEEN!

Nominate yourself or a fabulous white chick friend to be WCOTW by emailing me at

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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Giving Up Highly Cherished Things for Lent

WWCC has mentioned before, many times in fact, about just how hard it can be to be a White Chick.

And this fact of life is perhaps no truer than today–Ash Wednesday–the beginning of Lent, when God-fearing White Chicks everywhere are giving up something they truly cherish.

As if it wasn’t already an arduous, uphill battle being a White Chick on a daily basis, now, out of an act of faith or latent Christian guilt, they have to go without something they truly cherish for, like, 40 whole days? Oh, the horror.

But White Chicks Cherish Giving Up Highly Cherished Items for Lent.

White Chicks also love discussing what they are giving up for Lent like it’s the hardest thing they’ve ever had to do…in fact I guarantee that you, yes you dear reader, know at least one White Chick who posted what she was giving up for Lent today as her Facebook status.

In the sprit of the season, WWCC came up with a working list of things White Chicks may find acceptable to give up for Lent. And I don’t mean to sound sarcastic or sacrilegious in the least when I say I am sure Jesus Christ is utterly bewildered and humbled by the courage, fortitude and conviction White Chicks display by depriving themselves of any of the following for 40 days:

  • Facebook (Bonus points is you’re a white chick and your FB status is currently about giving up FB for lent OR if you announced this fact via Twitter).
  • Diet Coke
  • Girl Scout Cookies (in all seriousness, giving up Girl Scout cookies during the only time of the year they are available is a pretty big deal)
  • Wine
  • Chocolate and/or candy
  • Texting (I’m pretty sure giving up anything involving one’s cell phone in this day and age is virtually impossible)
  • Going out to bars
  • Sweet Tea
  • The Internet (yeah, right)
  • Champagne
  • Chick-fil-A
  • Cupcakes
  • Carbs
  • Beer/any other form of booze not previously mentioned (you do realize St. Patrick’s Day is, like, two weeks away?)
  • Cussing (I won’t name names, but I know a few White Chicks who would fail miserably at trying to give this up)
  • Red Meat
  • Fro-Yo
  • Potato Chips
  • Drunk Dialing/Texting their exes
  • Sex (For real, white chicks? If you have to give up sex for lent, you may be a skank…just sayin’.)
  • Men/Boys (Though saying “I’m through with men…” carries way less weight when done “for Lent” versus, say, “FOREVER”)
  • “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” (or any other superbly horrible reality TV show guilty pleasure)
  • Pizza
  • Gossiping (this will only last until that “one” slut at work does something even remotely annoying one day. The only way for white chicks to live with the fact that they have a nemesis is to talk about them behind their backs constantly)
  • Any other form of dessert not previously mentioned
  • Shopping/Online Shopping (bonus points if you’re a white chick and find yourself aghast after reading this because There. Is. No. Way.)
  • Ethnic Food
  • Fried Food
  • Pilates/Yoga/Spin Class (psssssh…like a white chick would ever give this up)
  • TV in general (I’d rather chop off a pinky or a lesser-used toe)
  • Cheese
  • Bacon (Are you for serious? Don’t you know how effing awesome bacon is?)
  • Tabloids (this includes all the TMZ/Extra type shows)
  • Their favorite Starbucks drink (White chicks, do us all a favor here. If you are addicted to highly caffeinated beverages, for the sake of everyone who interacts with you on a daily basis, DO NOT deprive yourself of this addictive/mood altering substance)
  • Any other action that involves a near-impossible act of self-control not previously mentioned

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Thursday, March 3, 2011

White Chick of the Week: Kristina Cherry

As I’ve mentioned before with nearly every new addition to the WCOTW feature, I am hugely overwhelmed by all the support and praise WWCC has received since its inception. The blog has 246 followers, 500 or so fans on Facebook and about 280 followers on Twitter! Boo yah! So it’s awesome to think that something that began as more or less of a personal lark has become such a decent success.

The WCOTW process has also been awesome to take in. Sometimes I pick out White Chicks myself from the small group of them I am fortunate enough to know. But nearly every week I get emails from folks (guys and gals) recommending someone they know to be WCOTW. And sometimes White Chicks with a certain amount of panache and self-confidence nominate themselves. This week’s WCOTW is one such lady.

When this week’s WCOTW emailed me about appearing on the blog, she did everything right. And by that I mean she lauded WWCC with ego-boosting praise and professed her undying love for the blog.

“You have no idea how exciting this is in the world of White Chicks!” she said. “I am obsessed with your blog. You just nail us so perfectly. I have not come across a white chick yet that I haven't turned into a follower. From my mom and her friends to all my sorority sisters. Every time there is a post it truely brightens my day and gives me a little break to sit back and laugh!”

So without further ado, please meet the latest (and youngest to date) White Chick of the Week: Kristina Cherry


Age: I'm an old soul stuck in a 22-year-old body

College/Major: Georgia College & State University, Studio Art (I go to class and craft everyday, how white chick is that?)

Current City: Milledgeville, Georgia (Reference “Pretty Woman,” Julia Roberts' Character is from Milledgeville, so it must be good.)

Hometown: East Cobb (White Chick Mecca)

One Quick Interesting Fact About Kristina: I've been a hardcore White Chick since before I even knew what that meant. As young as 8 my family started calling me "Julie of the Love Boat" for my impeccable ability to plan and organize events for fellow 8 year olds. I haven't stopped yet...


Chick-fil-A Combo Meal: Currently a #6 with a Coke Zero

Non-threatening Singer-Songwriter: Clearly John Mayer, I saw him at On the Bricks when I was only 12 and it was love at first sight. Our relationship is still going strong.

Brand of Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans: I'm short so this is really difficult for me.. I have found that GAP jeans were just made for me. GAP may not be a part of the Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans category but their 1969 collection is pure perfection.

Boutique Cupcake Flavor: Anything that includes peanut butter and chocolate. Most places have some form of this but they are all referred to by different names, whatever it may be, I love it.

White Chick Flick: Well Nicholas Sparks is my man but honestly my favorite and arguably the original White Chick Flick is “Steel Magnolias.” My mom and I frequently find ourselves working in the script into our everyday lives. It’s a classic.

Favorite white chick adult beverage: Clearly a Mimosa. They are perfect for every occasion and always classy.

Favorite White Chick Lit: See above, Nicholas Sparks is my man. I mean seriously his wife hit the jackpot. A man that can write such romantic stories, he knows just how to pull on a woman's heartstrings.

Item of Accoutrement/Accessory: A Giant Handbag. You never know when an emergency situation might break out, thank got for a fashionable way to be prepared at all times.


It's been a long week at work, tell us about your ideal white chick weekend.

Well since I am still a student my weeks are shorter and my weekends are longer, it is truly glorious. I am not quite sure yet how I will make the adjustment into the "real world." But my weekend would start out by Grey's Anatomy with the roomies while preparing to go out on the town here in big ol' Milledgeville. Followed by an eventful evening/early early morning in the bar scene. Friday I would sleep in and eventually drag myself from the bed and up to the art studio. I would paint all day while jamming out to some White Chick tunes with fellow White Chick art majors (there are quite a few of us if you can believe that!) Then out for a little Mexican and repeat over again all weekend. At some point I would try to throw in some laundry and on Sunday always a few good White Chick Flicks. Sunday night would of course be consumed by Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters. Ahh... only four more days until the next weekend!

What are some the things you cherish most as a white chick?

There has honestly not been a post that isn't literally the truth of my life. But along with the Various Monogrammed Items I also cherish anything, I mean anything that has my Sorority Letters on it. It’s sick. It’s just as great as a monogram because those letters won't ever change. Should I at some point mature out of the Sorority letter stage? Yes. Probably. Will I? Most likely not. Also singing Journey at the top of my lungs. It was my senior song. How White Chick does that make East Cobb? Yea. White Chicks Rule. I just can't get enough of it. I lose all of my inhibitions and I just have to immediately find a microphone and pour my heart out. Don't Stop Believin.

If you could be the contestant on any reality show (think The Bachelor, Top Chef, Project Runway, The Amazing Race, etc.) which one would you choose and why?

I think I would really love to be on Project Runway it would truly be like one of my most insane dreams coming true but I hate the sewing machine so realistically it would be The Amazing Race. My mother and I could kick some serious butt in this competition and we would make great television. We are like two peas in a pod with all the comedic relief that is required of such a serious task. We are competitive as they come, you tell us we can't and you better believe we will times 10. And seriously who wouldn't want to watch two generations of White Chick travel across the globe and do insane challenges while eating totally gross things?

Your wildest dreams come true and you have a chance to be a guest on Oprah, Ellen or Live with Regis&Kelly but only ONE: What did you do to become famous and which show would you want to appear on?

This is really a hard one but at the end of the day I would have to go with Oprah. And I would want the whole hour devoted to me! Because I would be a famous wedding/event planner and I would be telling Oprah all the latest trends. I would also spill some gossip about the latest celebrity weddings I am working on. Oprah is just fun. When she gets excited about something it is truly hard for me to contain myself also. I know she would just be the best host! And I also really want to meet Gayle.

If you could trade places with any famous white chick who would it be and why?

It would definitely have to be Jennifer Aniston. She may not be lucky in love but she is rockin it at 41 years old. And she just has the world at her fingertips. Everyone loves her, I mean who wouldn't want to be her? Hardly anyone, just think about the amont of people that were sportin the "Rachel" in the 90's.

Nominate yourself or a fabulous white chick friend to be WCOTW by emailing me at

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