It's highly likely, centuries from now when the dumbing down of American civilization and subsequent downfall of modern humanity are studied on other planets, that the ill-effects of the Internet and mobile phones on our collective intelligence will play a major role in our demise.
Don't get me wrong, I love the Interweb and all the vast, useless silliness it entails (ie. blogs about the behavior of cute white chicks). And in most cases it's much easier and simpler to communicate via emails, text messages and Instant Messaging than to actually have a face to face conversation or phone discussion with someone. Simply put, these electronic devices have changed the way we all converse with one another in equally positive and negative ways.
And while text-speak, web slang, Internet jargon and Tweeting have completely permeated our society, there is only one species on Earth that has truly reaped the benefits of this relatively new found shortened sense of communication. And that's because White Chicks Cherish Abbreviating Commonly Used Words or Expressions (aka. abbrevs or breevin).
I've spent a portion of this week researching the "breevin" phenomenon amongst my adorable Caucasian female counterparts and have reached an important conclusion. "Breevin" should only be done by white chicks. Through my research, I tried to slip "abbrevs" into a few chats and felt completely ridiculous and utterly insecure.
Frequently used "abbrevs"in the white chick vernacular can be acronyms for common phrases or just shortened, abbreviated versions of regular words. In the hopes of helping WWCC readers better understand the "breevin" phenomenon, which is basically white chick shorthand, I have compiled a working list of commonly used "abbrevs" and will present them as follows:
--"Abbrev": the "Abbrevs" root word and "it's use in a sentence, which are frequently combined with other abbrevs"
--OMG: Oh my God. "OMG, this Oversized Hand Bag is to die for."
--Totes: Totally. "I'm totes going to Sunday Brunch with the girls after this long day of Overdressing for College Football Games"
--Obvs/Obvi: Obviously."OMG, those Fashionable Rainboots are obvi the bomb."
(author's note: OMG, totes and obvi are something of the holy trinity in the white chick "abbrevs" lexicon).
--Cray Cray: Crazy/utterly bat-shit insane. "OMG, Sheree on RHWOA (Real Housewives of Atlanta) is totes cray cray."
--NBD: No big deal. "OMG, I totes have two callback interviews for two different PR firms this week...NBD."
--BTW: By the way (some whitechicks actually pronounce this abbrev as "BeeTeeDubs." "BTW, girlfriend, I need you to return my Belt As Fashion Accessory, I'm totes gonna wear it on a date."
--Presh: Precious. "Look at those mini-red velvet cupcakes, they are SO presh."
--Jell/Jelly: Jealous. "Oooh, the girls are totes gonna be jelly of my new Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans."
--FTW: For the win/to triumph. "Chick-fil-A chicken minis after a long night of drinking while watching "The Bachelor, FTW."
--BCP/BKP: Birth Control Pills aka. "baby kill pills." "I totes forgot to take my BCP's for the last few days, now I'm eating them like Skittles to catch up."
--Ridic: Ridiculous. "Friday night is SO gonna be Girl's Night Out. We're gonna drink, dance and listen to 80's music, it's gonna be ridic!"
--Adorb: Aborable. "This Lilly dress is totes adorb."
--Perf: Perfect. "I found the perf ballet flats to wear with my new adorb Lily dress. FTW!"
--Hilar: Hilarious. "She dressed as Double Rainbow for Halloween...hilar!"
--Fab: Fabulous. "Girl, this fro-yo (frozen yogurt) is so fab!"
--Belig: Belligerent. "OMG, she had like 8 bellinis at brunch, she's totes gonna get belig on us."
--Vom: vomit. "Ugh, there's no way I could drink that much, I would totes vom."
--Trampage: A slutty rampage. "OMG, she's belig drunk. Just made a vom in the girl's room. AND her ex-bf is here with some skank. I smell a trampage coming on."
--Sars: Sorry. "Girls, sars for the trampage yesterday. Between the bellinis and my ex, it was the perf storm."
--Sketch: Sketchy. "Some sketch ball just asked me to make out in the bathroom with him. Vom!"
--Nast: Nasty. "OMG, that slut is totes gonna make out in the bathroom with that sketchball. Nast!"
In the likely even that WWCC overlooked some common abbrevs, please share some omissions on Facebook and Twitter.
"totes def" is an essential staple you left out. Borderline offended! (Feigns offense)
ReplyDeleteloves you,wwcc
@kelseyleliason
"totes" makes me want to punch a white chick in the eye!
ReplyDeleteactually, about 98% of these abbreviations makes me want to punch a white chick in the eye.
GROSS!
tevs. we're just trying to speak quickly b/c we totes have imp places to be :)
ReplyDeleteCute and too funny. That would definitely take a translator to understand. I think though that for the most part it stops around age 16 or so.
ReplyDeleteYay!! Love this :) All so perf! Almost ANY word can be abbreved fyi...
ReplyDeleteFreq used abbrevs in the Soda City:
ReplyDeleteFML: F*** my life
Fav: Favorite
Whatev(s): Whatever