White Chick(s) of the Week:Elizabeth and "Legally Fabulous"

I've always operated under the philosophy that if one of anything is fabulous, then two is freaking amazing. So, when I got a request from two spectacular white chicks wanting to be co-WCOTW, I was intrigued to say the least.

And just as the blog has sort of been a social media experiment for me--one that has truly shown me how awesome it is to see things spread across the Interweb--this week's installment of WCOTW further proves the effectiveness of the medium. When I got the WCOTW request from two white chicks, I just assumed they were BFF's from way back in the day.

But these gals are a tad different, they're Twitter BFFs. After exchanging a few emails and realizing they live in entirely different cities and were born in different states, it became apparent something was a little off.

"We don't actually 'know' each other," they wrote. "We met on Twitter! It's like eHarmony for girlfriends!"

So please give a warm WCOTW welcome to Elizabeth (that's her below on the left. You can visit her on Twitter at @E_K_M and read her blog here. ) and Legally Fabulous/LF goes by the handle @LegallyFab1 and her blog is here.

















BIO

Age:
EKM: One never asks a lady's age.
LF: 25

College/Major:
EKM: Auburn University/Public Relations and Management (War Damn Eagle!)
LF: University of Illinois, BS in Broadcast Jorunalism, then law school. (is there a more typical privileged white chick educational path?)

Current City:
EKM: Around Alabama
LF: Chicago

Hometown:
EKM: The capital of sweet home Alabama
LF: Dallas, TX

One Quick, Interesting Fact:
EKM: Everything is interesting about me!
LF: I have a JD and work 18 hours a week for 15 dollars an hour.

The Things They Cherish Most:

Chick-fil-A Combo Meal:
EKM: No. 1 on wheat, no pickles, water on a good day, fountain coke on a bad day.
LF: No. 1 with a Diet Lemonade

Non-Threatening Singer-Songwriter:
EKM:Taylor Swift or Christmas Music
LF: Probably Taylor Swift as well. Taylor doesn't just sing songs, she tells stories. Our stories.

Brand of Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans:
EKM: I like my nice Sevens that are more trouser like, but I really wear !iT more, they fit great.
LF: Citizens of Humanity... those aren't ridiculously expensive though?

Boutique Cupcake Flavor:
EKM: Strawberry with cream cheese frosting or anything chocolate.
LF: Red Velvet.

White Chick Flick:
EKM: Just saw "Life As We Know It" which was great & total chick flick! But "The Holiday" wins.

LF: "DreamGirls" and all Tyler Perry films.

Favorite Adult Beverage:
EKM: red wine or bourbon
LF: Red Bull/vodka (sugar-free redbull please)

Favorite White Chick Lit:
EKM: Harry Potter and Pat Conroy books are great. And if you're a true WC and majored in pr/broadcast journalism or journalism, you'd know Strunk&White Elements of Style and the AP Stylebook are also near and dear to your heart.
LF: All of Jenn Lancaster's books... I think she is my long lost older sister.

Item of Accoutrement/Accessory:
EKM: Pearls, duh.
LF: I have a big, obnoxious diamond Michele watch that I always wear.


WCOTW Q&A

When did you first realize you were a white chick?

EKM: I was born that way.

LF: When my mom told me the other night that she wished she hadn't given me everyhting I'd ever asked for in my entire life.

It's been a long week at work, tell us about your ideal white chick weekend.

EKM: Football in the SEC! Keeping Legally Fab in line via social media and texting.

LF: Binge drinking and husband hunting.

If you could be the contestant on any reality show which one would you choose and why?

EKM: Well LF and I would be in our own reality show. We've already taken a twitter poll and people said they would watch us on TV. It would consist of LF being her usual cray cray self, the dog Elle Woods, EKM and her undying love for Auburn and the state of Alabama. It might be on Lifetime Network unless Bravo picked us up. We would make appearances on the TODAY show because that's what WC's watch in the mornings. The Kardashians and Bethenny Frankel (and baby Brynn and assistant Julie) would want to hang out with us for sure. I think it would be more of a traveling show so we could visit all our twitter friends and see other WC's across the nation.

LF: I kind of hate reality TV. Biggest Loser is my favorite but I don't quite qualify for that yet, so I'm gonna default to EKM here. I need my own show. My life is kind of hilarious/ridiculous, so I'm sure it'd be a hit.

Your wildest dreams come true and you have a chance to be a guest on Oprah, Ellen or Live with Regis&Kelly but only ONE: What did you do to become famous and which show would you want to appear on?

EKM: Oprah, because she gives away free stuff. Ellen is funny but sometimes she's not as popular. Although she did make the "it's just like a mini mall!" guy famous and he's from my hometown. I'm just waiting for Antoine Dodson to show up on her show. Kelly is too skinny, I would feel uncomfortable being next to her and Regis is losing his touch!

LF: I hate Oprah. I text while driving just because I know she doesn't want me to, so that's obviously out. I feel "meh" about Ellen, so I guess Regis and Kelly. I'll probably become famous for defending someone in some sort of ridiculous criminal trial.

Tell us a something about you that is very un-white chick

EKM: I would say going hunting but that seems to be a regular occurrence here in Alabama, so I'd say going to the restroom not in a designated restroom.

LF: I love Beyonce. Like, I'm obsessed. I guess after single ladies that's a pretty white chick thing to say though.

If you could trade places with any famous white chick who would it be and why?

EKM: Probably one of the Bush twins, because they're normal and don't get in trouble like LiLo and Paris. And well now after Kim K's magazine, deal, that's just not so nice.

LF: I like EKM's answer... I'm obsessed with the Bush family. But probably Nancy Grace... she has my dream job. And you either love her or you hate her, which we definitely have in common.

Nominate yourself or a fabulous white chick friend to be WCOTW by emailing me at mark.pantsari@gmail.com.

Come say hi on Facebook and Twitter!

White Chick Problems (aka. First World Problems)

Dear white chicks, white chick enthusiasts and loyal WWCC readers;

Please accept my most sincere apologies for the lack of content lately. I know this will come as a pitiful excuse for an apology for this egregious error, but I have something of a good cause for the lack of WWCC posts lately. I was out of town for a couple of days before Thanksgiving week and spent the entire week of Turkey Day at home--mooching off my parent's bountiful supply of groceries and enjoying a week surrounded by family. And upon my return to Atlanta I was stricken with a cold (it seems half my extended family was sick over Thanksgiving, so it was only a matter of time before it caught up to me), and so today WWCC returns with a new post. Finally.

I'd plan to do this post to coincide with Thanksgiving, but alas the aforementioned reasons and my lifelong battle with procrastination got the better of me. But it occurred to me over the break that, despite my paltry bank account and relative lack of success in the job hunt, that I still have a lot of reasons to be thankful. I'm blessed with a great family, awesome friends and the sweetest dog ever. Despite its abundance of crapulence at times, life can still be wonderful.

And while I am positive white chicks everywhere have equally important reasons to be thankful this holiday season, I also can only barely fathom how difficult it is to be a white chick at times. Life, despite its ability to be wonderful in times of crapulence, is rarely a walk in the park for white chicks. In fact, it's damn hard to be a white chick. Like hunted prey in the wilderness, white chicks have to be incredibly nimble to stay adorable and up to date in an incredibly competitive and ever-changing environment. I said this before in a previous post, but for white chicks the competition is everywhere and it always looks fabulous.

So as an ode to the arduous, up-hill battle white chicks face on a daily basis just for being white chicks, I decided to compile a list of White Chick Problems (aka. First World Problems). And while these challenges are hardly cherished, they should nonetheless be known to the world as they help build the immaculate fortitude that make white chicks such a truly magical breed.

Common White Chick/First World Problems may include, but not are limited to, any of the following:

• When water-proof mascara is so water-proof it does not come off after washing their face, like, three times.
• The "Sophie's Choice" decision of choosing to either watch or DVR "Gossip Girl" or "The Bachelor" on Monday nights.
• When that selfish careless slut in front of of them in line takes the last red velvet cupcake.
• When the only phone call/text they receive from a guy on Friday nights is labelled in their phones as "Don't Answer. EVER."
• Beverage choices: Wine vs Cocktail vs Wheat Beer.
• When the stupid Presidential Address interrupts "Glee" (or any other favorite show)
• Finding the "perf" pair of boots ON SALE but they are a half-size too big/small.
• Late Night Choices: Sack of Krystals, wine and a chick-flick with the girls or answering the Booty Call.
• When they clearly ordered a triple-shot Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks but it's evident there is only two-shots in the cup.
• Having to decide what to order to eat on a first date.
• Having to jerry-rig the strap on their favorite over-sized handbag because the buckle broke.
• Spilling their Pumpkin Spice Latte on their laptop.
• Trying to decide when to "Friend" a new crush on Facebook. Do they wait for him to do it or brazenly do it themselves?
• Getting upset when their favorite band that THEY DISCOVERED suddenly is liked by EVERYONE. (ie. Kings of Leon).
  
• Setting their alarm clock for PM instead of AM on Black Friday.
• Having to choose where to eat for the "Girls Night Out Birthday Dinner" and subsequently figuring out how to overcome the "no separate checks" policy.
• Facing the impossible fact that they just talked to a guy with lipstick/spinach/some foreign substance stuck in their teeth.
• The difficulty of finding a way for their new watch/necklace/earrings, etc. to match their other jewelry.
• Having to feign gratitude when their boyfriend's mother gives them a gift card for a Christmas/birthday present.
• The horrid reality that Prince William is marrying "that girl."
  
• When their roommate carelessly erases the latest and unwatched episode of "So You Think You Can Dance" or "True Blood" before they had a chance to watch it.
• Arriving to a social event to see a total skank wearing the same dress/outfit. And NOT being able to go back home and change.
  
• Not being able to wear their favorite heels on a date for fear of being taller than the gentleman caller.
• Meeting the perfect guy only to find out later he likes Nickelback and owns/wears Ed Hardy clothing. Or he's gay.
  
• Farting during yoga/pilates class.
• The fear of farting on a first date/job interview/meeting his parents for the first time.
• When Chick-Fil-A forgets to provide a straw when they order a giant fountain Diet Coke or Peppermint milkshake (author's note: I am sure this rarely happens as Chick-Fil-A never forgets the straw in the drive-thru...but if this were to ever happen it would likely bring about the end of humanity).
• When a restaurant's fountain regrettably runs out of Diet Coke or only offers Diet Pepsi or Coke Zero (It's just not the same).
• When the Avett Brothers' concert sells out before they can get tickets OR the Avetts fail to perform their favorite song
  
• Lumpy/congealed/unacceptable queso dip at Mexican night with the girls.
• Groceries or Highlights?
• Bridesmaid dresses.
  
• Having to wait, like over a WEEK, for a new post on What White Chicks Cherish. And/or waiting for their turn to be White Chick of the Week.
• When their girlfriends go see "Eat Pray Love" before they've had a chance to finish reading the book.
  
• Crying when they're drunk and overdressed at a college football game when their team loses in overtime/to the hated rival. (Bonus points if you are, unfortunately, a Clemson fan).
  
• Having to substitute Monster or a lesser energy drink when they order a Red Bull and Vodka at the bar. (OR if the bar doesn't have Sugar-Free Red Bull).
• Not discovering until in daylight out of the house that their black leggings and black boots aren't the same shade of black.
  
• Missing the sale at Anthropologie.
• When their new manicure makes it difficult to type/text on their laptops or iPhones.
  
• When the strap on their favorite shoes/dress/bra/flip-flops breaks.
• When their spray tan leaves an orange residue/hue on their 600 thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets.
  
• The sad truth that delicious red wine temporarily causes "grey teeth"

What did WWCC leave out? Let us know on Facebook or Twitter

Chelsea Handler

White Chicks are not without their role models. They have non-gay celebrity crushes on a plethora famous female figureheads they either want to be or be BFF's with.

There's Kelly Ripa who serves as prime example of balancing perky cuteness, a bubbling personality and charm with a successful career, a family and product endorsements.

There's Princess Diana who, years after her untimely death, stills serves as the epitome of grace, elegance, humility and goodwill.

There's Jennifer Aniston (she ranks quite high on my "Celebrities I wanna Do" list) who blends girl-next-door good looks with unfortunately-unlucky-in-love fate that many white chicks regrettably relate to.

And, of course, there's Oprah who is essentially is the most powerful woman on the planet. She's more omnipotent and wealthy than God and can change lives with the snap of a finger.

And that's just barely scratching of the surface of White Chick role models. But there's a relatively new White Chick role model on the scene--someone whose mega-successful career encompasses TV, comedy and literature. Someone who is easily one of the sexiest, funniest women on Earth (along with Tina Fey who also makes my coveted "list"). She's not only extremely successful and popular, but also possesses a razor sharp wit and a crass sense of self-deprecation that could make your funny-as-hell-yet-often-inappropriate-at-family-dinners-uncle blush like a school girl. AND she's got a tremendous rack.

So, it's no big surprise that White Chicks Cherish Chelsea Handler.

In case you aren't familiar with Chelsea Handler's recent explosion on the scene of uber-sexy/uber-hilarious White Chick role models, here are a few bullet points to bring you, dearest WWCC reader, up to speed:

• She's the host of "Chelsea Lately" on E!, a show known for its tongue-in-cheek take on the celebrity gossip world and often finds handler rubbing elbows with up-and-coming comedians as well as A-list celebrities. The show is also groundbreaking in the fact half of its writing staff consists of women. So while Ms. Handler can make dirty jokes with her midget sidekick, Chuey, she's also a trailblazing pioneer for women! Go White Chicks!
  
• Ms. Handler is also an accomplished author. She showcased her wit and brazen fearlessness to talk about her own sex life in the memoir "My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands." She has also penned "Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" (which is assuredly on the bookshelf of most white chicks out there) and the book "Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang."
• In March of this year, Handler officially achieved "BALLER" status in the literary world when ALL THREE OF HER BOOKS HELD THE TOP 3 SPOTS OF THE NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER LIST! Seriously...that is bad ass. Truly amazing.
  
• Handler also has a regular column in "Cosmo"
• Handler's endeavors into stand-up comedy have included sold-out nationwide tours and appearances on HBO, Comedy Central and Oxygen's "Girls Behaving Badly"
• She's also a philanthropist and received the "Ally for Equality Award" by the Human Rights Campaign for her support of the LGBT community.
• And sure it's superficial, but her hotness has been legitimized through a cover appearance on "Playboy" (she had posed for a non-nude pictorial) and made the cut of "Maxim's Hot 100."
• This year, Handler became the second woman EVER to host MTV's video Video Music Awards.
• And, according to the celebrity tabloid world, Handler may or may not be currently hooking up with 50 Cent. (And whether they freely admit to it or not, most white chicks do carry a secret, lustful fascination with chiseled, mega-successful and unattainable black men...just saying).

Come say hi to WWCC on Facebook and Twitter.

Abbreviating Commonly Used Words or Expressions (aka. abbrevs or breevin)

It's highly likely, centuries from now when the dumbing down of American civilization and subsequent downfall of modern humanity are studied on other planets, that the ill-effects of the Internet and mobile phones on our collective intelligence will play a major role in our demise.

Don't get me wrong, I love the Interweb and all the vast, useless silliness it entails (ie. blogs about the behavior of cute white chicks). And in most cases it's much easier and simpler to communicate via emails, text messages and Instant Messaging than to actually have a face to face conversation or phone discussion with someone. Simply put, these electronic devices have changed the way we all converse with one another in equally positive and negative ways.

And while text-speak, web slang, Internet jargon and Tweeting have completely permeated our society, there is only one species on Earth that has truly reaped the benefits of this relatively new found shortened sense of communication. And that's because White Chicks Cherish Abbreviating Commonly Used Words or Expressions (aka. abbrevs or breevin).

I've spent a portion of this week researching the "breevin" phenomenon amongst my adorable Caucasian female counterparts and have reached an important conclusion. "Breevin" should only be done by white chicks. Through my research, I tried to slip "abbrevs" into a few chats and felt completely ridiculous and utterly insecure.

Frequently used "abbrevs"in the white chick vernacular can be acronyms for common phrases or just shortened, abbreviated versions of regular words. In the hopes of helping WWCC readers better understand the "breevin" phenomenon, which is basically white chick shorthand, I have compiled a working list of commonly used "abbrevs" and will present them as follows:
--"Abbrev": the "Abbrevs" root word and "it's use in a sentence, which are frequently combined with other abbrevs"

--OMG: Oh my God. "OMG, this Oversized Hand Bag is to die for."

--Totes: Totally. "I'm totes going to Sunday Brunch with the girls after this long day of Overdressing for College Football Games"

--Obvs/Obvi: Obviously."OMG, those Fashionable Rainboots are obvi the bomb."

(author's note: OMG, totes and obvi are something of the holy trinity in the white chick "abbrevs" lexicon).

--Cray Cray: Crazy/utterly bat-shit insane. "OMG, Sheree on RHWOA (Real Housewives of Atlanta) is totes cray cray."

--NBD: No big deal. "OMG, I totes have two callback interviews for two different PR firms this week...NBD."

--BTW: By the way (some whitechicks actually pronounce this abbrev as "BeeTeeDubs." "BTW, girlfriend, I need you to return my Belt As Fashion Accessory, I'm totes gonna wear it on a date."

--Presh: Precious. "Look at those mini-red velvet cupcakes, they are SO presh."

--Jell/Jelly: Jealous. "Oooh, the girls are totes gonna be jelly of my new Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans."

--FTW: For the win/to triumph. "Chick-fil-A chicken minis after a long night of drinking while watching "The Bachelor, FTW."

--BCP/BKP: Birth Control Pills aka. "baby kill pills." "I totes forgot to take my BCP's for the last few days, now I'm eating them like Skittles to catch up."

--Ridic: Ridiculous. "Friday night is SO gonna be Girl's Night Out. We're gonna drink, dance and listen to 80's music, it's gonna be ridic!"

--Adorb: Aborable. "This Lilly dress is totes adorb."

--Perf: Perfect. "I found the perf ballet flats to wear with my new adorb Lily dress. FTW!"

--Hilar: Hilarious. "She dressed as Double Rainbow for Halloween...hilar!"

--Fab: Fabulous. "Girl, this fro-yo (frozen yogurt) is so fab!"

--Belig: Belligerent. "OMG, she had like 8 bellinis at brunch, she's totes gonna get belig on us."

--Vom: vomit. "Ugh, there's no way I could drink that much, I would totes vom."

--Trampage: A slutty rampage. "OMG, she's belig drunk. Just made a vom in the girl's room. AND her ex-bf is here with some skank. I smell a trampage coming on."

--Sars: Sorry. "Girls, sars for the trampage yesterday. Between the bellinis and my ex, it was the perf storm."

--Sketch: Sketchy. "Some sketch ball just asked me to make out in the bathroom with him. Vom!"

--Nast: Nasty. "OMG, that slut is totes gonna make out in the bathroom with that sketchball. Nast!"


In the likely even that WWCC overlooked some common abbrevs, please share some omissions on Facebook and Twitter.

White Chick of the Week: Poem Turner

WWCC loyalists, please accept my most sincere apologies for a lack of posts this previous week. I was out of town for a couple of days and was severely lazy over the weekend (I spent a majority of it in my pajamas napping at all hours of the day).

So in the interests of getting back on task...

This week's White Chick of the Week marks a few firsts in the short-lived WCOTW feature.

She is the first White Chick that has been nominated, and comes highly recommended from a mutual friend who was a college buddy and former roommate of mine from my starving artist days in Charleston, SC.

She's the first married WCOTW...proof positive that some other idiot dude (no offense to her hubby, of course) out there clearly recognized her mettle and appeal as a top-notch white chick.

She's also WWCC's first White Chick of the Week to not have a college or professional background in Communications/Public Relations (turns out White Chicks are capable to excel in other fields as you will soon learn).

And she's also the first North Carolina resident to be featured as a WCOTW.

So without further ado, it is an esteemed honor (as always) to introduce WWCC's White Chick of the Week: Poem Turner

Bio:

Age: Let's just say it stops at 29.

College: "We're the Red and White from State and we're here to kick your a**" (As a side note, this NC State alum's beloved football team was vanquished by my Clemson Tigers over the weekend in what was easily the fugliest game of two-sided offensive ineptitude that the NCAA has likely ever seen in its storied history).

Major: One of them has to do with fish.

Occupation: Molecular Biologist

Hometown: The Sunny Caribbean

Current City: Cary, NC. "Money" magazine called us the #5 Best Place to Live in the U.S.

A quick, interesting fact about Poem: Option 1: Due to my name and that I'm from the Islands, people tend to think I'm black. Then they meet me and realize "Money" magazine should have named me the Top 5 Whitest chick ever. Option 2: I know every lyric to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire."

The Things Poem Cherishes Most

Chick-fil-A Combo Meal: The one with the nuggets and honey mustard sauce along with a Cookies and Cream milkshake. But I have to give a shout out to the breakfast Chicken Minis!
Non-threatening Singer-songwriter: The Avett Brothers
Brand of Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans: David Kahn or Paper Denim & Cloth
Boutique Cupcake Flavor: Pina Colada
White Chick Flick: "Princess Bride," "Laws of Attraction," and "Intolerable Cruelty"
White Chick Lit: I don't often indulge, but when I do it's anything by Candace Bushnell
Adult Beverage: Chocolate martini but Drunken Gummy Bears are high on the list.
Item of Accoutrement: Big Sunglasses

WCOTW Q&A

It's been a long week at work, tell us about your ideal white chick weekend: Catch a plane with in-flight beverages to NYC to visit my sister. Get a massage, go shopping, spend way too long getting dressed up (inappropriately for the weather, of course), dinner at an overly-hyped "hard-to-get-reservations-to" restaurant, dancing to live 80's music, making fun other white chicks for doing the same thing, brunch the next day, prep for a dinner party, writ my White Chick of the Week profile while helping back a scratch-made cake, quick dinner party with adult beverages, and fly back home to snuggle with my hubby.

What name do you have picked out for your hypothetical children? For a girl I prefer Andrea or Audrey, but we'll probably compromise on Reagan. For a boy, my husband already has the whitest name ever (Robert Charles), so we may just recycle that since it's too good to waste.

What are some of the things you cherish most as a white chick? I do love spin class and who doesn't love a blog about their lifestyle (author's note: Boo Yah!). And do I really need to mention shopping?

Your wildest dreams come true and you have a chance to be a guest on "Oprah," "Ellen," or "Live with Regis and Kelly" but ONLY one. What did you do to become famous and which show would you appear on? My sister and I opened a boutique paperie and full-service event planning store that became wildly successful. Ellen and I will discuss it one afternoon along with the acting talent of Portia de Rossi on the short-lived white chick favorite "Better Off Ted."

Tell us something very un-white chick about you: There's not even room to start...

If you could trade places with any famous white chick who would it be? Julianne Moore because she's so fabulous.


Nominate yourself or a fabulous white chick friend to be WCOTW by emailing me at mark.pantsari@gmail.com.

Come say hi on Facebook and Twitter!

Fashionable Rain Boots

Though it would never happen in our capitalist society, I am of the staunch and unrealistic belief that everything should be shut down on days of inclement weather. I'm not talking about brief summer showers where it dumps rain for 20 minutes and then the sun comes out again, I'm talking about days where it's a torrential downpour. All. Day. Long.

Nothing is worse than having to go about your normal business on a rainy day. It puts a damper on everything—the bottoms of your pants get rain-soaked, it's impossible to have a good hair day and people drive like complete and total nit-wits.

Businesses should close and mandatory "sick" days should be granted to all tax-paying citizens on rainy days because all you really want to do (and should be required by law to do) is lay around in your pajamas and watch movies you seen a bajillion times all day.

But this line of reasoning, as appealing as it may be to most white chicks, is faulty at best. Rainy days present a unique opportunity for white chicks to showcase a hidden gem in their fashion arsenals...and that's because White Chicks Cherish Fashionable Rain Boots.

WWCC has discussed on several occasions how white chicks will likely choose form over function when it comes to looking adorable and Fashionable Rain Boots represent a happy union of the two. From a manufacturing perspective, Fashionable Rain Boots are functionally the same as the gear worn by commercial fishermen—they're made of rubber to keep one's feet secure and dry from precipitation and provide ample traction for wet, slippery surfaces.

But there's a big difference between a commercial fisherman's galoshes and Fashionable Rain Boots; a great pair of Fashionable Rain Boots are To.Die.For. And I highly doubt that brands like Steve Madden, Coach, Michael Kors, Chooka and Burberry give a damn about commercial fisherman when they can sell Fashionable Rain Boots to white chicks for a retail price of anywhere from $59.95 to $250!

A fabulous pair of Fashionable Rain Boots are likely to incorporate any of the following in their design:
--Polka Dots
--Animal Print (OMG..have you seen the Peacock print?)
--Stripes
--Plaid
--Bright, Solid Colors (like yellows, reds or pastels)
--Cute, Baby Animals (such as whales or duckies...bonus points if the duckies are dressed in their own adorable rain garb)
--Some type of artsy pattern (hearts, flowers or paisley for example)
--High-end name-brand accoutrement (ie. The Coach logo or Burberry plaid)
--Or possibly something ironic (ever seen a super cute white chick in a pair of Fashionable Rain Boots sporting a skull and cross bones? I have.)

Fashionable Rain Boots can virtually be paired with any outfit: they go well with shorts in the summer, a mini skirt or dress and are fab on cold, wet days with a pair of ridiculously expensive jeans or leggings tucked in.

A white chick only needs a low-percent chance of rain to bust out her Fashionable Rain Boots. I've seen white chicks sporting their FRB's on completely sunny days and I've been jealous of white chicks and their dry feet on days when it's raining cats and dogs and my socks are soaking wet inside my shoes (ugh...the WORST!).

But rest assured no matter the weather forecast, when it comes to a white chick and her preparedness for inclement days, there's a 100% chance of Fashionable Rain Boots.


Tell us about your favorite FRB's, white chicks. Hit up WWCC on Facebook or Twitter.

Dressing Like Total Sluts for Halloween

If you haven't caught on through previous WWCC posts, White Chicks are simply amazing and fantastic creatures. They're the only species on the planet to have artfully mastered the vast complexities of fashion, accessories and putting together the proper outfit for the the proper occasion. Though a lot of their fashion decisions may make very little common sense on paper (ie. scarves in the summer or cowboy boots with a cute sundress) only a truly unique breed of human would be able to carry off such perplexing clothing choices with such adorable aplomb.

From job interviews to casual window shopping to hungover brunches, white chicks have an uncanny way to dress appropriately for all occasions and look amazing for everyone of them. Dressing sensibly for white chicks has far less to do with common sense than it does with the end goal of looking cute. Tacky is the enemy. Trashy is avoided at all costs. And slutty is basically the end of all humanity in the white chick world.

But there is one day of the year when all white chick fashion etiquette goes out the window. A special day (which can be stretched out into an entire week between all the different parties and social events associated with the holiday) in which everything their mothers ever taught them about carrying themselves in a lady-like manner becomes utterly useless and unheeded information.

And that's because White Chicks Cherish Dressing Like Total Sluts on Halloween.

Just as children appreciate Halloween for its unique opportunity to not only accept candy from strangers but to wander public streets begging for it, white chicks' fondness for Halloween is deeply rooted in the opportunity, for maybe just a few hours out of the entire to year, to revel in their inner-slut and display it proudly for the whole world to see. (It's more or less certifiable fact that every white chick on the planet has an inner-slut to varying degrees).

What other holiday allows white chicks to drink excessively while wearing certain clothing (or lack thereof) items in public (like a corset or nipple tassels, for example) that they would never, EVER wear on any other day? What other day allows white chick girlfriends to go shopping for things that would literally kill their grandmothers if that dear, old woman would ever see her granddaughter in such an outfit?

Only Halloween.

I tend to view Halloween in the same light as New Year's Eve. I usually end up having good times on each holiday, but generally think that too much planning, stress and importance is placed on each occasion to have the "Best Night Ever." But I'm also a warm-blooded, single, idiot dude and of course love to see cute white chicks in absurdly revealing clothing.

For those unfamiliar with the phenomenon of White Chicks Dressing Like Total Sluts for Halloween, there are typically three stages of slut-costumery, each one more provocative than the next. They are as follows:

Naughty: This is the fetal stage of Dressing Like a Total Slut for Halloween. Put simply, a Naughty Costume would entail anything a white chick wouldn't wear to work or in front of her grandparents. Clothing items will be exceptionally tight, short, or revealing but still leave something to the imagination of onlookers. Naughty Costumes may provide a chance for white chicks to wear that one top, skirt or pair of shoes they know they look hot in, but still cannot believe they ever bought because said item(s) are just a little "too over the top."

Sexy: Sexy is stage two of Dressing Like a Total Slut for Halloween. Tight and skimpy are the general rules of thumb when picking out a costume. Excessive cleavage, thigh high stockings, and stripper-esque high heels are bonafide requirements. Sexy costumes may make normal activities like walking or sitting next to impossible to do without exposing a peak of underwear. Sexy costumes may also be the first time anyone other than an intimate boyfriend or a BFF discovers a white chick has a tattoo or birthmark in that one area that typically doesn't see much daylight.

Slutty: On any other day a Slutty Costume would get a white chick confused with a full-fledged prostitute and possibly arrested for indecent exposure. The likelihood for a white chick in a Slutty Costume to unknowingly expose a nipple, butt cheek or her "special area" to the public in such an outfit is all but guaranteed to occur. Essentially, the only thing separating a white chick in a Slutty Costume from one of those drunk chicks on the "Girls Gone Wild" videos is the absence a millionaire pervert with a video camera capturing it all on film and then distributing said video through lascivious late-night cable TV advertising.

White chicks, just in case you have yet to solidify your Halloween costume(s) for this year (which is highly unlikely as Halloween costume planning for white chicks typically begins on November 1), WWCC has compiled a list of possible costume ideas.

Simply add the words Naughty, Sexy or Slutty to anything listed below and then consult your giant, cardboard box of Halloween accoutrement to complete the look:

--Cop
--Cheerleader (Bonus points if it's your actual cheerleader outfit from high school)
--Catholic School Girl (call me a single, idiot dude, but this is the BEST. COSTUME. EVER.)
--Angel/Pixie/Fairy
--Football Player
--Pocahontas
--Girl Scout/Brownie (this is sort of wrong in an awesome way)
--Little Bo Peep
--Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz"
--Strawberry Shortcake
--Rainbow Bright
--French Maid
--Harry Potter/Hogwarts outfit
--Vegas Showgirl
--Little Red Ridinghood
--Nun (this is wrong on so many levels)
--Disco Queen
--Snow White
--Hooters Waitress
--Alice in Wonderland
--Sailor Girl
--Eve (as in "Adam and...")
--Business Woman (aka SEXecutive)
--1920's Flapper
--Genie
--50's Diner Waitress
--Roller Girl (I'm not sure why, but roller skates are SO slutty)
--She-Devil
--Cinderella
--Cleopatra
--Cat Woman
--Nurse/Doctor
--Playboy Bunny
--Referee
--Lady Pimp
--Princess Leia (bonus points for an excellent ear-muff hairstyle. Mega-bonus points if it's the Princess Leia skimpy gold bikini outfit a la "Return of the Jedi")
--Marilyn Monroe
--Betty Page
--Belle from "Beauty and the Beast"
--Hot Mobster
--Stewardess
--Greek Goddess/Toga Hooker
--Burlesque Girl
--Lingerie Model
--Race car Girl
--Dominatrix
--Convict
--Bavarian Beer Maid
--Pirate Wench
--Any other Disney Princess not previously mentioned
--Future Robot Hooker
--Daisy Duke
--Victorian-era Hooker
--Geisha Girl
--Firefighter
--Antebellum-era Hooker
--Vampiress
--Smurfette
--Witch
--White Trash Barbie
--Werewolf Hooker (I have never seen this costume, but I think it's a pretty gnarly idea)
--Zombie Hooker
--Belly Dancer
--Regular Hooker
--Wilma or Betty from "The Flintstones" (Betty is WAY hotter)
--Army Girl
--Queen of Hearts
--Baseball Hooker
--Construction Worker
--80's Hair Band Groupie Hooker
--Santa's Elf
--Britney/Christina/Madonna/Katy Perry/Lady GaGa/Cher
--Librarian (runner-up for Best. Costume. EVER.)
--Jem from "Jem and the Holograms" (Truly. Truly. Truly outrageous).
--Raggedy Anne
--Wonder Woman
--Bumble Bee
--BatGirl
--SuperGirl
--Medieval Hooker
--CaveWoman Hooker
--Going with a group of bffs as "Sex and the City" girls
--Mariachi Band Hooker (I just made this up)
--Kitty Cat
--Punky Brewster
--one of the "Mad Men" women (Is there anyone on TV sexier than Joan? No way.)
--Jane from "Tarzan"
--Hippie Hooker
--Betty Boop
--Lara Croft
--Ballerina
--Auto Mechanic
--Viking Hooker
--Barbarella
--one of the "Saved by the Bell" girls (bonus points for the "I'm so excited" version of Jessie Spano all jacked-up on caffeine pills)

Happy Halloween WWCC readers!

Share some costume ideas with WWCC on Facebook and Twitter!