Overdressing for College Football Games

From the cool, crisp mornings to the beautiful changes in the foliage, fall is indeed a splendorous time of year. With fall approaching, the joys of the Holiday season are just around the corner. But the true greatest joy of autumn, of course, is football season and with it brings a part of life White Chicks truly Cherish: Overdressing for College Football Games.

It’s true, along with the pageantry, tradition and competition of college football comes the opportunity for white chicks all across the land to overdress to re-visit their treasured college campus, spend all day in relatively warm weather, cheer on their favorite team and basically get drunk in a parking lot. Maybe it’s just a Southeastern thing, but White Chicks Cherish Overdressing for College Football Games for several reasons: it involves day drinking, wearing cute clothing items with total disregard to the climate and the perfect opportunity to accessorize with various forms of accoutrement.

It’s no secret that white chicks love day drinking—who doesn’t? The tailgating portion of Overdressing for College Football Games has a lot in common with brunch. There's eating, drinking and plenty of time for visiting and general merriment. If the tailgating begins early enough there is opportunity for mimosas, though cocktails and light beers are often the drink of choice. Football season may be one of the few times a year white chicks may consume brown liquor and they can be very creative when it comes to sneaking booze into the stadium despite never, EVER carrying things in their own pockets. A great tailgate spread may include: a Chick-fil-A nugget tray (or the lesser Zaxby’s chicken strips), various chip and dip combos (white chicks usually have an amazing dip recipe in their over sized handbag of tricks), a fresh fruit and veggie tray, there has to be guacamole and of course some bite-sized cupcakes in their team colors.

And then there’s the Overdressing. Football season begins on the cusp of summer transitioning to fall and white chicks will blend the ever-loving hell out of clothing items from both seasons. The cute dress is THE base for a perfect tailgating outfit. Maybe it’s a solid number in one of her team’s colors or patterned with accentuating nods to her alum. Gladiator sandals are the perfect choice for footwear (I think at some point the government issued each white chick a pair of these?) though it’s not uncommon to see high heels despite the amount of walking in unforgiving high heel terrain like grassy hills and concrete. If a white chick is not in a cute dress, then it’s a cute college color top and her ridiculously expensive blue jeans tucked into a pair of boots, which are often delightfully and ironically influenced by either Cowboys or Indians.

Overdressing for Tailgating is the perfect storm for accoutrement and accessories. Summer scarves are everywhere and chunky accessories in complimentary colors can turn even in the little black dress into an outfit bursting with team spirit. Top it off with a lightweight cardigan if the game goes into night, a pair of big sunglasses and a face-painted team logo on her cheek and it’s game time!

Overdressing for College Football Games is also a true test of white chick fortitude. Day drinking in the hot sun can lead to being drastically over-served for white chicks, especially if it’s been a long time since they have consumed any brown liquor. Maybe they’ll have a drunken stumble in their non-practical shoes and develop an unsightly bruise (mystery bruise comparison is quite popular at post-college tailgating Sunday brunch). Maybe they’ll blackout briefly in a Porta-let in the parking lot or in a stall at the game. Maybe they'll unfortunately be seen urinating in public despite a ninja-like hiding place of between two cars. Or maybe they'll get sick and regrettably see those team-color mini-cupcakes make a violent reappearance in the front yard of that one fraternity house. But white chicks are masters of the puke and rally, and they MUST carry on. It's game day after all and white chicks can always use another "just like that one time in college" story.

Win, lose or day-drinking fail, the day of Overdressing for College Football Games will be magnificent.

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(I have no idea who the white chicks are in the photo, I just Googled "white chicks tailgating" and picked the first appropriate photo. But bonus points if they happen to read this post!)