Monday, January 31, 2011

Boots (addendum): Sassy Ankle Boots

Despite the uncanny, hilarious and in-depth observations WWCC posts on a pretty consistent basis (hopefully WWCC will become more consistent), there are certain aspects of White Chickdom that sometimes go unwritten or unnoticed (or un-copy and pasted from a separate document your humble author may or may not have written on the company dime). Needless to say, such lapses in observation are embarrassing. But I'm just ONE single-idiot dude covering an entirely mystical species of creature, and I'm bound to overlook something once in a while.

Thanks to some well-intentioned WWCC comments I was alerted to the fact that I neglected to mention a particular fashion of boot in the previous blog post about White Chicks Cherishing Boots. It's a small privilege to know the blog is being read and enjoyed, and a greater one to know that folks are invested enough to take the time and offer suggestions...and point out my shortcomings in certain instances.

With that being said, I swear I wrote a piece on Sassy Ankle Boots for the previous post. And in my carelessness of not posting at all last week I may or may not have decided to embellish this post from the aforementioned document.

In case you didn't know, White Chicks Cherish Sassy Ankle Boots:

The Sassy Ankle Boot is skyrocketing to popularity in the Boots category for White Chicks. And though widely popular, not every White Chick will venture to wear Sassy Ankle Boots.

Typically, White Chicks that Cherish Sassy Ankle Boots have a bit of an indie/hipster slant to them. Although they may most certainly be a white chick at the core, they have an uncanny ability to look vaguely Asian or possibly Hispanic at times due to their mastery of eye make-up and their hair styles which look messy and unkempt but require a meticulous routine to give off that apperance. Their wardrobe generally attracts attention in some sort of way–super skinny jeans, bright and/or wildly designed tights, lots of colorful scarfs and maybe some type of cardigan sweater with some cute, vaguely ironic pins or buttons adorning said sweater. It's a sort of bohemian thrift-store-chic-look that undoubtedly pairs a super cheap bargain basement item with something insanely overpriced. And although it may not make much sense upon first glance, the more you stare at said indie/hipster White Chick, the more you realize she totally pulls it off.

These Sassy Ankle Boot wearing White Chicks are interesting creatures and a bit of a subset in the White Chick species. They're full of delightful contradictions. Like, maybe she's vegan but smokes cigarettes (only American Spirits, though). She loves beer, Miller High Life or Pabst Blue Ribbon in particular, but will swoon when she sees photos of baby animals that aren't cute as adult animals or a miniature version of a regular product in a store (ie. those really tiny, single-serving bottles of Tabasco).

Her boyfriend may or may not be in a band, but he has a mustache and wears a funny hat sometimes. (If Sassy Ankle Boot wearing White Chick was ever to join a band she'd certainly play bass.) She's still getting over her once-favorite music groups like Kings of Leon, the Avett Brothers or Mumford & Sons (who are really just the Avett Brothers from England) going from relative unknowns (ie. "theirs") to being wildly enjoyed by the masses. And she's currently really enjoying a band that has some sort of animal name in its title (ie. Bear, Deer, Fox, etc).

Chances are this Sassy Ankle Boot wearing White Chick has some sort of facial piercing (most likely the nose, but quite possibly a dimple). And maybe, just maybe, she has a tattoo on her wrist.

Come say hi on Facebook and Twitter!

And please, by all means, don't be too shy to click on any of the ads you may see on WWCC (which should be below the post and below the blog archives)! If this rate keeps up, by the end of 2011 I should be able to buy myself anything I want that costs about $50.00!

Monday, January 17, 2011


Happy New Year, White Chicks!

I know better than to keep a White Chick waiting, I wasn't raised by wolves! So I just want to offer a quick apology and explanation for the lack of posts over the few weeks from pre-Christmas up to now. The major reason is that my ninja-like levels of procrastination got the better of me and I simply didn’t write anything for about three weeks.

Another explanation is that I had a pretty busy couple of weeks that involved moving out of Atlanta, spending a week on vacation with my glorious family, moving to Hilton Head, SC and starting a new job in a new city in the New Year.

But mostly, I was just procrastinating and being lazy.

Along with being a New Year, it’s also winter (for those WWCC readers in the Northern Hemisphere, at least) which can only mean one thing for White Chicks: Boot Season.

And you only need to be somewhat observant to know White Chicks Cherish the hell out of wearing some Boots.

For work or play boots are versatile–they can be worn with skirts, dresses, dress pants, Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans (which are commonly tucked into said boot to show off the style of said boot) or leggings/tights/jeggings. (I am still struggling to comprehend the difference between leggings and tights and the occasions in which they can actually be worn as a replacement for pants in the complex, wonderful place that is the White Chick Fashion World).

I realize how inane and ridiculous it may be to present a WWCC post about boots to the species of human that wear them, like, almost every day during the winter. But if you haven’t caught on by now, that’s kind of the sole purpose of What White Chicks Cherish.

White Chicks Cherishing Boots may include, but is not entirely limited to, the following fashions:

Tall Boots: Although they’re losing ground to some of the newcomers in the White Chick Boot World, Tall Boots are nearly ubiquitous and my hands-down favorites. Simple, sleek, sexy and classy–these boots give white chicks an almost super-hero like quality when worn and any cute White Chick worth her mettle will own a pair of Tall Boots. And a White Chick in Tall Boots will never, ever fail to capture my attention in a polite, non-creepy and well-meaning way of course. (Insert rolled-R tiger growl noise here)

Uggs: These have to be the most comfortable form of women’s footwear on the planet…because they certainly are not the most attractive. Don’t get me wrong sometimes Uggs look really super cute on a White Chick and other times they look downright hideous. And I am not sure why, it’s just a gut reaction and I have no choice in the matter.

I also am not sure why White Chicks wear these wool-lined boots on remotely warm, sunny anytime the temperature is above 60.

AND...I really do not understand the style of Uggs that look like a hand-knitted cable sweater with buttons on them? I find them to be very confusing.

(Side note: During the wonderful and much-needed family time over the holidays, I noticed my 12-year-old niece sporting a pair of fake-Uggs...commonly referred into White Chick parlance as “Fuggs.” A day later she was wearing skinny jeans. And one of her Christmas presents from my parents were a few fashionable, Summer Scarves. Clearly she is well on her way to becoming a top-notch White Chick and I am SO PROUD of her).

Cowboy Boots: Cowboy boots are HUGE in the White Chick Winter Wardrobe, but typically will begin making their appearance around Overdressing for College Football Games Season. Whether paired with Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans, a sundress and, sometimes, even shorts, there’s something undeniably cute about a White Chick in cowboy boots...which is obviously why nearly every white chick on the planet has a pair of cowboy boots. Along with the obligatory pair of ballet flats, I am beginning to think Cowboy Boots are Government Issued White Chick Paraphernalia.

Flat-soled Slouch Boots: These boots are commonly made out of suede and tend to make single, idiot dudes wonder how they stay put on a White Chick’s legs. They look like they would fall down at any moment like a pair of old socks whose elastic is entirely shot. And you know that the obligatory straps and buckles on slouch boots are purely ornamental and serve no functional purpose. Seriously, it’s something of a mystery to me. But they are cute nonetheless.

Frye Boots: Any form of boot not previously mentioned above can be covered under the blanket of White Chick Boot-dom that is Frye Boots. As America’s oldest shoe company, Frye has been cranking out boots since 1863. The company has booted Civil War soldiers, Teddy Roosevelt and there’s even a pair on display in the Smithsonian because Frye boots are so deeply rooted in Americana.

And the brand is now preying on White Chicks with all sorts of timeless and modern styles of boots (riding boots, anyone?) and chances are any fashionable, self-respecting White Chick could find a suitable pair from this American boot purveyor. But if you find yourself asking the question, “What’s the difference between Frye boots and other brands?” The answer is about a $150 to $200 increase in suggested retail price.

Furry Boots: I’ll be bluntly honest here, White Chicks. Don’t get me wrong, I love you. I truly do. And I’ve made that point abundantly clear since day one of WWCC. BUT, unless you spend your nights in in a legit igloo, drive a dog-sled through multiple feet of snow to get your day job of ice-spear fishing to help feed your igloo village OR have goals to one day dance in a rap video-––Furry Boots (especially ones that feature any type of dangling furry spherical object) are effing ridiculous and should not be worn in public. And honestly White Chicks, you of all people should know better.

Come say hi on Facebook and Twitter!

And please, by all means, don't be too shy to click on any of the ads you may see on WWCC (which should be below the post and below the blog archives)! I've made a whopping $15.00 from them in a whole month!