I know better than to keep a White Chick waiting, I wasn't raised by wolves! So I just want to offer a quick apology and explanation for the lack of posts over the few weeks from pre-Christmas up to now. The major reason is that my ninja-like levels of procrastination got the better of me and I simply didn’t write anything for about three weeks.
Another explanation is that I had a pretty busy couple of weeks that involved moving out of Atlanta, spending a week on vacation with my glorious family, moving to Hilton Head, SC and starting a new job in a new city in the New Year.
But mostly, I was just procrastinating and being lazy.
Along with being a New Year, it’s also winter (for those WWCC readers in the Northern Hemisphere, at least) which can only mean one thing for White Chicks: Boot Season.
And you only need to be somewhat observant to know White Chicks Cherish the hell out of wearing some Boots.
For work or play boots are versatile–they can be worn with skirts, dresses, dress pants, Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans (which are commonly tucked into said boot to show off the style of said boot) or leggings/tights/jeggings. (I am still struggling to comprehend the difference between leggings and tights and the occasions in which they can actually be worn as a replacement for pants in the complex, wonderful place that is the White Chick Fashion World).
I realize how inane and ridiculous it may be to present a WWCC post about boots to the species of human that wear them, like, almost every day during the winter. But if you haven’t caught on by now, that’s kind of the sole purpose of What White Chicks Cherish.
White Chicks Cherishing Boots may include, but is not entirely limited to, the following fashions:
Tall Boots: Although they’re losing ground to some of the newcomers in the White Chick Boot World, Tall Boots are nearly ubiquitous and my hands-down favorites. Simple, sleek, sexy and classy–these boots give white chicks an almost super-hero like quality when worn and any cute White Chick worth her mettle will own a pair of Tall Boots. And a White Chick in Tall Boots will never, ever fail to capture my attention in a polite, non-creepy and well-meaning way of course. (Insert rolled-R tiger growl noise here)
Uggs: These have to be the most comfortable form of women’s footwear on the planet…because they certainly are not the most attractive. Don’t get me wrong sometimes Uggs look really super cute on a White Chick and other times they look downright hideous. And I am not sure why, it’s just a gut reaction and I have no choice in the matter.
I also am not sure why White Chicks wear these wool-lined boots on remotely warm, sunny days...like anytime the temperature is above 60.
AND...I really do not understand the style of Uggs that look like a hand-knitted cable sweater with buttons on them? I find them to be very confusing.
(Side note: During the wonderful and much-needed family time over the holidays, I noticed my 12-year-old niece sporting a pair of fake-Uggs...commonly referred into White Chick parlance as “Fuggs.” A day later she was wearing skinny jeans. And one of her Christmas presents from my parents were a few fashionable, Summer Scarves. Clearly she is well on her way to becoming a top-notch White Chick and I am SO PROUD of her).
Cowboy Boots: Cowboy boots are HUGE in the White Chick Winter Wardrobe, but typically will begin making their appearance around Overdressing for College Football Games Season. Whether paired with Ridiculously Expensive Blue Jeans, a sundress and, sometimes, even shorts, there’s something undeniably cute about a White Chick in cowboy boots...which is obviously why nearly every white chick on the planet has a pair of cowboy boots. Along with the obligatory pair of ballet flats, I am beginning to think Cowboy Boots are Government Issued White Chick Paraphernalia.
Flat-soled Slouch Boots: These boots are commonly made out of suede and tend to make single, idiot dudes wonder how they stay put on a White Chick’s legs. They look like they would fall down at any moment like a pair of old socks whose elastic is entirely shot. And you know that the obligatory straps and buckles on slouch boots are purely ornamental and serve no functional purpose. Seriously, it’s something of a mystery to me. But they are cute nonetheless.
Frye Boots: Any form of boot not previously mentioned above can be covered under the blanket of White Chick Boot-dom that is Frye Boots. As America’s oldest shoe company, Frye has been cranking out boots since 1863. The company has booted Civil War soldiers, Teddy Roosevelt and there’s even a pair on display in the Smithsonian because Frye boots are so deeply rooted in Americana.
And the brand is now preying on White Chicks with all sorts of timeless and modern styles of boots (riding boots, anyone?) and chances are any fashionable, self-respecting White Chick could find a suitable pair from this American boot purveyor. But if you find yourself asking the question, “What’s the difference between Frye boots and other brands?” The answer is about a $150 to $200 increase in suggested retail price.
Furry Boots: I’ll be bluntly honest here, White Chicks. Don’t get me wrong, I love you. I truly do. And I’ve made that point abundantly clear since day one of WWCC. BUT, unless you spend your nights in in a legit igloo, drive a dog-sled through multiple feet of snow to get your day job of ice-spear fishing to help feed your igloo village OR have goals to one day dance in a rap video-––Furry Boots (especially ones that feature any type of dangling furry spherical object) are effing ridiculous and should not be worn in public. And honestly White Chicks, you of all people should know better.
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