WWCC has mentioned before, many times in fact, about just how hard it can be to be a White Chick.
And this fact of life is perhaps no truer than today–Ash Wednesday–the beginning of Lent, when God-fearing White Chicks everywhere are giving up something they truly cherish.
As if it wasn’t already an arduous, uphill battle being a White Chick on a daily basis, now, out of an act of faith or latent Christian guilt, they have to go without something they truly cherish for, like, 40 whole days? Oh, the horror.
But White Chicks Cherish Giving Up Highly Cherished Items for Lent.
White Chicks also love discussing what they are giving up for Lent like it’s the hardest thing they’ve ever had to do…in fact I guarantee that you, yes you dear reader, know at least one White Chick who posted what she was giving up for Lent today as her Facebook status.
In the sprit of the season, WWCC came up with a working list of things White Chicks may find acceptable to give up for Lent. And I don’t mean to sound sarcastic or sacrilegious in the least when I say I am sure Jesus Christ is utterly bewildered and humbled by the courage, fortitude and conviction White Chicks display by depriving themselves of any of the following for 40 days:
- Facebook (Bonus points is you’re a white chick and your FB status is currently about giving up FB for lent OR if you announced this fact via Twitter).
- Diet Coke
- Girl Scout Cookies (in all seriousness, giving up Girl Scout cookies during the only time of the year they are available is a pretty big deal)
- Chocolate and/or candy
- Texting (I’m pretty sure giving up anything involving one’s cell phone in this day and age is virtually impossible)
- Going out to bars
- Sweet Tea
- The Internet (yeah, right)
- Beer/any other form of booze not previously mentioned (you do realize St. Patrick’s Day is, like, two weeks away?)
- Cussing (I won’t name names, but I know a few White Chicks who would fail miserably at trying to give this up)
- Red Meat
- Potato Chips
- Drunk Dialing/Texting their exes
- Sex (For real, white chicks? If you have to give up sex for lent, you may be a skank…just sayin’.)
- Men/Boys (Though saying “I’m through with men…” carries way less weight when done “for Lent” versus, say, “FOREVER”)
- “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” (or any other superbly horrible reality TV show guilty pleasure)
- Gossiping (this will only last until that “one” slut at work does something even remotely annoying one day. The only way for white chicks to live with the fact that they have a nemesis is to talk about them behind their backs constantly)
- Any other form of dessert not previously mentioned
- Shopping/Online Shopping (bonus points if you’re a white chick and find yourself aghast after reading this because There. Is. No. Way.)
- Ethnic Food
- Fried Food
- Pilates/Yoga/Spin Class (psssssh…like a white chick would ever give this up)
- TV in general (I’d rather chop off a pinky or a lesser-used toe)
- Bacon (Are you for serious? Don’t you know how effing awesome bacon is?)
- Tabloids (this includes all the TMZ/Extra type shows)
- Their favorite Starbucks drink (White chicks, do us all a favor here. If you are addicted to highly caffeinated beverages, for the sake of everyone who interacts with you on a daily basis, DO NOT deprive yourself of this addictive/mood altering substance)
- Any other action that involves a near-impossible act of self-control not previously mentioned