Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Chelsea Handler

White Chicks are not without their role models. They have non-gay celebrity crushes on a plethora famous female figureheads they either want to be or be BFF's with.

There's Kelly Ripa who serves as prime example of balancing perky cuteness, a bubbling personality and charm with a successful career, a family and product endorsements.

There's Princess Diana who, years after her untimely death, stills serves as the epitome of grace, elegance, humility and goodwill.

There's Jennifer Aniston (she ranks quite high on my "Celebrities I wanna Do" list) who blends girl-next-door good looks with unfortunately-unlucky-in-love fate that many white chicks regrettably relate to.

And, of course, there's Oprah who is essentially is the most powerful woman on the planet. She's more omnipotent and wealthy than God and can change lives with the snap of a finger.

And that's just barely scratching of the surface of White Chick role models. But there's a relatively new White Chick role model on the scene--someone whose mega-successful career encompasses TV, comedy and literature. Someone who is easily one of the sexiest, funniest women on Earth (along with Tina Fey who also makes my coveted "list"). She's not only extremely successful and popular, but also possesses a razor sharp wit and a crass sense of self-deprecation that could make your funny-as-hell-yet-often-inappropriate-at-family-dinners-uncle blush like a school girl. AND she's got a tremendous rack.

So, it's no big surprise that White Chicks Cherish Chelsea Handler.

In case you aren't familiar with Chelsea Handler's recent explosion on the scene of uber-sexy/uber-hilarious White Chick role models, here are a few bullet points to bring you, dearest WWCC reader, up to speed:

  • She's the host of "Chelsea Lately" on E!, a show known for its tongue-in-cheek take on the celebrity gossip world and often finds handler rubbing elbows with up-and-coming comedians as well as A-list celebrities. The show is also groundbreaking in the fact half of its writing staff consists of women. So while Ms. Handler can make dirty jokes with her midget sidekick, Chuey, she's also a trailblazing pioneer for women! Go White Chicks!
  • Ms. Handler is also an accomplished author. She showcased her wit and brazen fearlessness to talk about her own sex life in the memoir "My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands." She has also penned "Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" (which is assuredly on the bookshelf of most white chicks out there) and the book "Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang."
  • In March of this year, Handler officially achieved "BALLER" status in the literary world when ALL THREE OF HER BOOKS HELD THE TOP 3 SPOTS OF THE NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER LIST! Seriously...that is bad ass. Truly amazing.
  • Handler also has a regular column in "Cosmo"
  • Handler's endeavors into stand-up comedy have included sold-out nationwide tours and appearances on HBO, Comedy Central and Oxygen's "Girls Behaving Badly"
  • She's also a philanthropist and received the "Ally for Equality Award" by the Human Rights Campaign for her support of the LGBT community.
  • And sure it's superficial, but her hotness has been legitimized through a cover appearance on "Playboy" (she had posed for a non-nude pictorial) and made the cut of "Maxim's Hot 100."
  • This year, Handler became the second woman EVER to host MTV's video Video Music Awards.
  • And, according to the celebrity tabloid world, Handler may or may not be currently hooking up with 50 Cent. (And whether they freely admit to it or not, most white chicks do carry a secret, lustful fascination with chiseled, mega-successful and unattainable black men...just saying).
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