Monday, October 4, 2010

"The Notebook"

"Behind every great love is a great story" says the tag line of the Nicholas Sparks' novel-turned-movie "The Noteook." And nothing makes for a better love story—the kind that can make a white chick laugh, cry and yearn for a similar tale of her own—than one that combines star-crossed lovers whose love survives war, over-bearing parents and vastly different socio-economic demographics. Throw in the patented Nicholas Sparks formula of all the fantastic love story stuff mentioned above happening in the face of debilitating, heart-breaking terminal illness and it's no wonder why White Chicks Cherish "The Notebook."

Assuredly, every white chick on the planet has seen this movie (bonus WC points if they read the book before the movie rights were optioned), so there's not much point in summarizing "The Notebook," but WWCC does have to touch on some specific plot points of the movie in the interests of proving its extremely high white chick quotient.

"The Notebook" is a favored movie of white chicks because it contains all of the following plot points of a fantastic chick flick:

--The gorgeous hunk of a man from the wrong side of the tracks. Noah is decidedly blue collar; he works in a lumber yard, heads off to war and dedicates a portion of his life to restoring the abandoned (despite its impeccable waterfront lot), ramshackle house he promises to buy for Allie during one of their early nights together (though at the time it seemed like an overly romantic ploy to get into her panties). But he's really the type of guy who would write a love letter every day of the year to a girl he is still pining for post-break up.

Noah is the total package--handsome, devoted and a great guy. But also the type of guy who isn't afraid to call out a cute white chick by saying "Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing." (White chicks love to be challenged).

--The adorable and sexy free-spirited white chick. Allie is beautiful on the inside and out (doesn't every white chick want to be this way?). She's a talented painter, wants to be happy and has a hard time wrestling with the fact that no matter which guy she chooses to love, someone will be crushed. Allie loves with all her heart and I'm sure white chicks can relate when she says "When I'm with Noah I feel like one person and when I'm with you I feel like someone totally different."

--The meddling mother. Allie's mother of course thinks Noah is "trash." And she'll be damned if she's going to let her precious daughter fall in love with the wrong type of boy. She's the type of mother that will intercept and horde 365 love letters written by a gorgeous hunk of a man from the wrong side of the tracks.

--War. Any great love story movie has some sort of war in it. Noah ships off to World War II while Allie goes off to college. She later volunteers as a nurses aid where she meets Lon and nurses him back to health.

--The guy who is perfect on paper. Lon is a lawyer and comes from a wealthy Southern family. He's handsome, a perfect gentleman (and don't forget rich and lawyer). So it's no wonder why Allie falls for him and accepts his marriage proposal.

--The chance encounter of star-crossed lovers. Noah happens to spot Allie and Lon together upon returning home from the War. Dejected, he begins restoring the ramshackle (albeit oddly located on a gorgeous waterfront lot) mansion with his bare hands and rippling abs. Allie happens to see a newspaper article about Noah restoring the house from their first hook up and pays him a visit.

--The uber-romantic kiss in the rain. After a boat ride Noah and Allie rekindle their romance with a textbook smooch in the rain. Despite being engaged in holy matrimony to another man, she holes up in Noah's restored, pristine waterfront mansion where they spend days together falling back in love and bumping uglies.

--The meddling mother who has a change of heart. Allie's mother visits the mansion to tell her daughter that Lon is wondering where his fiance is, takes her daughter on a drive to conveniently show her the blue collar man she once bumped uglies with and presents Allie with 365 love letters. Yet another testament to the unyielding passion of Noah. Really?!? She wouldn't have just burned these letters from a guy she once called "trash"?

--The guy who is perfect on paper and also says the perfect things. When confronted with the fact that his fiance has been whoring it up in a waterfront mansion restored by a blue collar hunk, Lon says "The way I see it, I got three choices. One, I can shoot him. Two, I can kick the crap out of him. Or three, I leave you. Well, all that's no good. You see, 'cause none of those options get me you." (MEGA-SIGH...how can you not love a guy who would say things like this?)

--Flashes from the future that tie the movie together. During the length of the film, "The Notebook" also shows scenes from an old folks home where a sweet, funny old man reads to a clueless Alzheimer's-stricken woman from a "notebook." The viewer learns over the course of the sappy yet beautiful, romantic movie that the "notebook" is a journal kept by Allie of the tumultuous love story between her and Noah. The sweet, old man of course is Noah and his unending love for Allie is further concretely proven by his dedication to read to her from this book. Despite being in relatively perfect health, sweet, old Noah essentially lives in the old folks home to be near Allie. On occasion, Allie magically has moments of clarity—she "comes back" to Noah, and OMG is it beautiful.

--Sweetest. (Albeit highly improbable). Ending. Ever. "The Notebook" ends with sweet, old man Noah finishing reading the "notebook" love story to Alzheimer's-stricken Allie. She "comes back to him" one last time and asks "Do you think our love, can take us away together?"

To which sweet, old man Noah replies "I think our love can do anything we want it to."

The film ends with sweet, old man Noah and Alzheimers-stricken Allie climbing in bed together, joining hands and....wait for it....DYING TOGETHER AT THE SAME TIME. OMG it's beautiful, how could you not cry?

Say what you will about the Nicholas Sparks' formulaic novel-turned-movie arsenal ("A Walk to Remember," "The Last Song," "Dear John") but the guy likely goes to bed every night on top of obscenely large piles of money.

But it's certifiable fact that if you can make white chicks cry over a good love story, there is nothing standing in the way of your unbridled success. The same can be said for the ability to make white chicks dance.

And I can only hope the same holds true for making white chicks laugh.


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4 comments:

  1. You're right! This white chick LOVES The Notebook!!

    I love your blog!! It makes me laugh!

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  2. I kinda hate the notebook because my high school sweetheart broke up with me after taking me to the notebook on opening day.

    but the end is the sweetest.

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  3. This blog is great! And this white chick started tearing up (not ashamed!) just reading your blog post about how much white chicks love the Notebook...fantastic!

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  4. Where has this blog been all of my life? I am cracking up, I love your writing style, it makes it all so much funnier!

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